Everything is telling me to get off this plane.

The angst on the way to the airport.

The dread at the airport.

The switching of planes at the gate.

The missing of the calls.

The bin not closing.

The plane door not closing, not latching.

The excessively drunk passenger spilled on himself, up in the aisle, gesturing wildly.

The return to the gate.

The flight attendant saying, "everything happens for a reason," as I was falling asleep.

If this flight arrives, I am likely missing the next one.

"We don't want to jeopardize 171 passengers."

If this plane goes down, it will be in a flaming ball of irony.