Scalzi-inspired Stories

In which I spend no more than 20 minutes writing stories using Scalzi's Next Band Names as the story premises.
Deplorable Limerick 2015-04-06 05:34
Amish Mugshots 2015-02-15 14:52
Robot Pitchfork 2014-07-03 19:17
Portland Hotel Showers 2014-07-02 17:30
Deus Sex Machina 2014-07-01 18:59
Cinnadouche 2014-06-30 19:17
Pinwheel Nostrils 2014-01-01 18:26
Weird Sexy Man Hug 2013-06-28 10:28
Viscous Childhood 2013-03-12 19:56
Chapstick the Cat 2013-03-06 08:34
Chocolate Suggestion 2013-02-01 21:04
Burp Sponge 2013-01-31 20:14
Vermin Tornadoes 2013-01-14 10:01
Less Than Three 2013-01-13 22:15
Beat me by Seven Seconds 2013-01-12 11:58
Laundry Czar 2013-01-07 22:19
Condemned Milk 2013-01-06 16:33
Tempura Fugitive 2013-01-05 20:22
One Day of Dumb 2012-02-04 20:48
Every Single Pencil 2012-01-22 20:48
Hooker Socks 2012-01-21 20:48
Outbreak of Horses 2012-01-20 14:14
Snowmen Can’t Fly 2012-01-19 20:48
Cavity Search Engine 2012-01-18 14:49
Spring-Loaded Uncle 2012-01-17 15:12
Assembled Ferret Skeleton 2012-01-16 18:19
Bacon Tuxedo 2012-01-15 10:49
Profuse Chocolate 2012-01-14 20:49
Cookies in Prison 2012-01-13 20:39
Hate Shark 2012-01-12 22:39
Clarified Blather 2012-01-11 21:48
The Exploding Churros 2012-01-10 20:49
Competitive Badger Grooming 2012-01-09 20:49
The Mime Tasters 2012-01-08 12:30
Fifteen Dollars 2012-01-07 20:39
Chicken Rapture 2012-01-06 20:39
Sam Without Pants 2012-01-05 20:32
Peripheral Turbulence 2012-01-04 20:30
Muttonchop Neil 2012-01-03 00:58
Love Smears 2012-01-02 21:56
Jazz Glands 2012-01-01 22:51