What exactly, again?


I went to BevMo today to pick up some beer, not for me, and wandered around a short while, looking at all the different bottles, cans, and boxes of alcohol.

I was unexpectedly nostalgic for the experience of drinking, which was weird. I mean, I'm still not drinking. I am still okay not drinking. I am actively choosing not to drink: I am not not-drinking by mandate or health requirement.

So, why the longing for something that wasn't a great experience for me?

Right. I wasn't longing for alcohol, I am grieving for the loss of the experiences that came with the alcohol. The winery tours with Kris and Heather and Andy. The sushi and sakes in Portland with the Oliphants. The exploration of whiskey bars with Jonathan. The quiet evenings with friends, playing bridge or poker or board games. The glass of wine at a large orphan holiday dinner at Keith and Katie's.

All the alcohol at the store reminds me of the of events surrounding past alcohol I've had, and those events are what I'm longing for, not the alcohol itself.

Realizing this is the loss I'm feeling, and that I had and can have more delightful experiences without alcohol, yeah, I'm good.

Neko 006


My sixth of n watercolors of Neko Harbour. The image below was taken with dried paint and natural, but shaded, light.

For this edition of Neko Harbour, I focused on the rocks in the foreground. I wanted more texture, less diffusion of pigment, and more highlights. I managed to pick up a section of the pigment with the brush and move it, which was startling to me. I used less watered pigment for some of the shadows, and actually added some pigment to the algae colored snow. I think the foreground turned out well.

After laying the paint down for the middle glacier, I was unhappy with the way it looked when dried. I watered my smallest brush and tried to lift the pigment. To my delight, the lifting created a hard line, similar to the hard edges at the glacier waterline.

I am delighted by this version, I learned a bunch trying the different techniques. Oh, I know the painting has room for many improvements (the sky, the upper glacier, showing in the water, the edge of the water fog, the middle mist, and, oof, the colors are still way off), but I am seeing progress, and ninety four more paintings to go - delight!

Watercolor on paper, 3" x 2"
Previous versions: Reference 1 2 3 4 5

The Eyre Affair

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Book Notes