Next Journal


Much to my disappointment, the journal that I have fallen in love with (Moleskine daily diary, large size, ripe yellow, which I ignore the dates in and use as a lined journal) has been discontinued by Moleskine, after running ALL OF ONE YEAR (good thing I bought two, which lasted me the whole year). Talk about teasing customers. Thanks, Moleskine. The 18 month daily is pretty darn great, too (lasting all of nine months with normal use), but some time around seven months, I'd start looking for another journal. The 12 month daily diary has just the right number of pages, though Moleskine FINALLY came out with a large size EXPANDED to 400 pages, which is also a great size, just the wrong color.

I am, however, near the end of my current notebook, I'll likely finish it up in about six weeks, which is about the right time to decide on the next journal. I'm breaking my usual streak and going EXTRA LARGE SIZE, and cracking myself up.

I mean, neon green extra large. Cracking me up.

Blood on Snow

Book Notes

Half-Resurrection Blues

Book Notes

Thoughts on a California Curfew


California went into curfew tonight. All non-essential businesses must be closed between 10pm and 5am for purple (the worst) rated counties (most of us) for the next month.

On the news, we hear people interviewed saying, "This is stupid. What the virus is going to be more active from 10pm until morning?"

Which shows just how much our country lacks any type of critical thinking skills and any form of creativity. It also shows just how disrespectful people are, which is one of the many reasons were are in this mess in the first place.

Heaven forbid people could actually speculate on what is actually happening. Heaven forbid people would actually try to understand the reasoning for a measure, or understand why the curfew would be considered a helpful measure.

Allow me to, once again, think for the people who choose not to think, and speculate for just 3 minutes. I set my timer for three minutes and...

1. Curfew means that traditionally late night venues will need to be closed. Said late night venues include bars and strip joints, both places where people drink alcohol. Drinking means no mask, which means higher transmission rates. Alcohol also means lowered inhibitions which means people are more likely to engage in risky behaviors leading to the spread of the virus. Curfew reduces these vectors.

2. Curfew forces people back into their homes, if they have one, early. This means that people will leave whatever (stupid, idiotic) larger group they may be in and in a place where they can be sheltering. Curfew breaks apart larger group that may happen in the evening.

Wow, typing this up, and I'm only at one minute and forty five seconds so far.

3. Curfew means that law enforcement and health workers have a chance at a break, a moment to breathe, before needing to care for the idiots who are not sheltering during the day. Wouldn't that be nice?

4. Curfew is an experiment to see if we can reduce transmission rates by altering this part of people's behavior.

Meh. Rather than complaining about the rule, maybe the irresponsible person being interviewed could, you know, show some curiosity and find out WHY the rule went into effect.

Oh, I just found out the interviewed person I quoted above is a Republican. OF FUCKING COURSE. Republicans are the group of irresponsible people who like to believe you can wish away an organism that is LITERALLY KILLING US. Explains his response: he wants to fight reason, fight science, manipulate people to keep power.

Good lord. I hope he catches Covid-19, has it very bad, and survives.

What am I eating that I'm going to regret?


I have a number of food items that I often wonder about. Like, are these foods that I'm eating to improve my health going to be items that in a couple hundred years people are going to think, "What the hell were they thinking, eating that thing? How stupid they were!"

I mean, take Lewis and Clark. They regularly consumed mercury-laden pills to help with constipation. While, sure, they managed to purge their digestive system quickly, they also poisoned themselves in the process. I use magnesium for this process, am I slowly poisoning myself?

Or the protein supplements I consume? I suck at consuming protein, hence the supplement. Am I slowly poisoning myself with mercury in the marine-sourced supplement? Or destroying my kidneys with a protein overdose?

I don't know.

I wonder frequently.

Well, That Was a Waste


Today was not so great.

I took Chase to the expensive vet today for them to figure out what is wrong with him such that he isn't eating. Yesterday wasn't good, and today didn't appear to be much better, but we were unsure what the vet was going to do, so we didn't encourage any food this morning.

His drop-off appointment was "around" 10am. When arrived "around" 10am, which is to say, I arrived at 10:10am, I was told that the wait was an hour to drop off Chase. I was honestly unsurprised, given cars were double parking in the lot as I arrived, from which I inferred I'd be waiting for a while.

I wasn't expecting as long as I waited, and my original day plans were pretty much shot, but doggo, and what's good, what's bad, who knows...

Eventually Chase fell asleep, on my lap no less.

One can see how exhausted he is to have fallen asleep while waiting for the vet.

I managed to make my work meeting, which was okay, but not enough to distract for the rest of the day. With the ongoing knee injuries and honestly low motivation, I managed to stand during the day, along with some shoulder exercises, and not much else for movement or productivity (well, not exactly - managed to hit flow state with a couple bugs and a new feature, so there's that).

Unsure how much not-worrying-about-things-I-cannot-control one can be expected to do in a day in this year of JFC just be better already. My house didn't burn down today at least.

The vet called around 6pm. They found nothing. They ruled out cardiac issues. They ruled out cancer returning as far as they could see. They didn't tell us anything we didn't already know or believe, and sent us home with the dog, antibiotics (tried that), anti-nausea meds (tried that), and appetite stimulants (tried that). None of this helped.

Chase avoids cold foods.

Chase approaches food as if he is interested in eating it, but turns away from the food without eating it.

Chase likes soft, bland food.

I'm still convinced this is sore teeth or a stupid foxtail stuck in his throat, and not all the things all the vets keep testing him for.

What a waste of time and money today was. Lots of time, lots of money, and in the end, we are still tasked with tormenting the dog by shoving pills down his throat to force him to be hungry.