Crime? Be-Fow-LING the castle!
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Written with a loving hand by kitt some time around 00:59 on 28 February 2005
Here's an excerpt from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets:
Page 126, third paragraph:
"Name ... Harry Potter. Crime ..."A couple days ago, Kris was sitting next to me on the couch. At the top of his lungs, he yells, "Crime?!" Startled, I looked over at him. "Befouling the castle!" What? And then he let one rip. Now, if you've never been in the presence of one of Kris' farts, let me warn you that they are quite, um, odorous. When I hear one, I flee. Fast. Of course, I can't say mine smell any better. I'm just used to my smells. So, our new word for "Flee for your life if you wish to avoid the smells emanating from my butt!" is "Crime?" yelled at the top of one's lungs. The proper way to finish the warning is, of course, "Befouling the castle!" It's quite entertaining.
"It was only a bit of mud!" said Harry.
"It's only a bit of mud to you, boy, but to me it's an extra hour of scrubbing!" shouted Filch, a drip shivering unpleasantly at the end of his bulbous nose. "Crime ... befouling the castle ... suggested sentence ..."