Blog kitt decided around 08:36 on 3 November 2005 to publish this:
One of the great things about keeping a journal is that it provides a nice history of things important to me at a given time. I can look back through the various entries and be entertained, horrified, amused, or puzzled. All perfectly valid responses given the varied posts I make about the events in my life. The theory goes if I keep this up, I'll have a nice chronology of my life, and will be able to laugh about most of this when I'm a crotchety old lady, sitting on the porch with my Crazy Cousin Kelly, cackling about something or other. Assuming I'm sane enough to be able to read it. Well, and that she's still game for that plan. Given she has a kid now, Gadi might think I'm just too crazy for her mom to hang out with. Or she might in 80 years. The biggest problem with this plan, however, is that I don't write when I'm down. When things get rough, or I get overwhelmed, the first thing that gets chucked off the list is this, the writing, the purging of the thoughts, ideas, fears, feats, accomplishments, or events that humour me. Note the gap just last month, mid-October. I was writing a little bit, but wasn't finishing anything, and several people actually commented to me about it. So, now, here I am in a similar place. Some of the issues I'm struggling with I'm surely not supposed to talk about, and sometimes I think I'm not supposed to have in the first place. But that reckons back to expectations, of which I have a huge long thought/post about. Not talking about these issues is hard, because some of them deal directly with people, friends I'd desperately would like to talk to about the situation, but can't seem to do it. Not being able to solve a problem staring me in the face is incredibly frustrating. Not solving is isn't my style. Eh, people aren't my forte either, and those two are going hand-in-hand at the moment. Ah, well. Vague enough to bore even myself, and accomplish little.