My new word

I've come to the conclusion that I have a new favorite word. If I asked Kris what my new favorite word is, he'd tell me it is either "nominally" or "clearly," because I've certainly said both a lot. I'm struggling to remember what words those two replaced most recently, and can't recall.

Regardless, Kris would be wrong.

My new word is "No."

It's a recurring theme (with variations), so I've embraced it.

No is now my default answer to everything.

Can I take on a new client?

No.

Is this my responsibility to fix?

No.

Do I have time to help on this project?

No.

Should I save some of this tasty cake for Kris to eat later?

No.

Can I do this?

No.

Can I finish that?

No.

It's an uncomfortable statement to make. I feel I'll be disappointing everyone. That I'll be failing them. That anyone I say "No," to will think less of me because I said no, instead of an enthusiastic yes. That I'll be less of a person because of it.

By saying yes, though, I have committed to doing too much. I don't schedule-in any downtime for myself. I stop reading books. I stop gardening. I stop running. I stop. And then I lose myself. I lose perspective. And then I lose my motivation.

And at that point, I do disappoint, because I've committed to something I no longer have the energy or motivation to do, because I was doing that something for someone else, and not because I was passionate and committed to do it.

So, better to do less and be excited to do it, than pretend to live someone else's life, and worry about someone else's worries, and try to achieve someone else's dreams. Because I'll never succeed otherwise. And I'll hate myself for failing to do something I never wanted to do in the first place.

So, my new word is "No."

Unless I'm excited about it.

Then, "Yes."