Trust in myself

Today after our workout at VS, my shower took far, far too long. I ended up in a rush to make the train, having Kris drop me off at the station on a drive-by wife dump at the curb.

He loves those adventures.

I rushed up the ramp to the platform, just in time to see the lights of the oncoming train approach. Not quite panicked, I rushed to the ticket kiosk, pulling out my index card holder where I have my 10 ride ticket stored.

Neatly tucked into the side pocket of my index card holder, right where the 10 ride ticket is supposed to be, I found Liza's rookie card, but no ticket.

I started to panic.

I pulled out my wallet as quickly as I could, the train having stopped at this point, and looked to see if I had cash to buy a ticket with. I had a twenty, and really didn't want 16 dollar coins, even if they were the presidential coins. I didn't have any smaller bills, so I grabbed the first credit card I could find and jammed it into the ticket machine.

Turning to plead with the conductor to wait for me, I purchased my ticket. The ticket was "Authorizing, please wait" when the conductor called, "All aboard! We can't wait!" When the ticket dropped, I grabbed it and, clutching all of my disheveled crap, raced for the open door as it started to shut.

I dove into the train just as the doors closed behind me, stumbled up the stairs and into a car, flopping down and dumping my bags onto the chair next to me. Once I had relaxed a bit, I pulled out my bag and started going through it, determined to find that 10 ride ticket.

I was so sure I had put the ticket into the index card holder, its approved location. I pulled out the holder, and looked at Liza's card again. I pulled it aside and looked at the holder again.

And found the 10 ride ticket, just where I had put it.

I need to trust myself more. Clearly. I knew the ticket was there, I just didn't believe in myself, that I had put it away, that it was where it should be. Too many self-doubts, that's for sure. Maybe if I trust in myself more, I'd be pleasantly surprised with the results. Can't be any worse than the train panic, that's for sure.