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Another letter to my fellow passengers


To the passenger in 23C,

Airplanes in flight are mostly closed systems. The air that you breathe has been circulated, and theoretically scrubbed or filtered in some way, but not really. Unfortunately, that scrubbing of the air doesn't happen until the air has actually been pulled into the filtration system.

So, when you fart, then proceed to wave around the papers in your hand, the air isn't actually filtered for a while. The smells emanating from your ass will actually disperse more quickly with your paper waving. Perhaps you don't like those particular smells from your butt, but I assure you, we in the row behind you like them even less.

Next time you fart, try to hold it in, keep the smell close to you. Save us all the unpleasant moment of realization that, yes, you let one rip just under the noise threshold of the jet engines.

Thanks much!