Funny Thing about Grief« an older post
a newer one »Happy Birthday, Jonathan

Small-Chested Big-Breasted Women Rejoice!


TL;DR: If you have a small ribcage (<= US34) and big breasts (>= USDD), the sports bra you want is the Anita Extreme Control sports bra.

Way back when, we are talking 30+ years ago, very few sports bras existed, and definitely not very many for large-breasted women. Kelly Johnson, my ultimate frisbee mentor, roommate, and best friend in the early 90s, a woman who also had very large breasts, noticed I wore crap sports bras, often several, and suggested the Champion Sports Bra. Back then, Champion made amazing sports bras. The bands were adjustable so we didn't feel constricted (or worse, develop hyperinflated lung fields), and fully supported larger boobs. The shape was supportive, and minimized bounce (HF, the dreaded bounce that destroys breast tissue and gives black eyes to those of us with larger boobs). Yeah, there was monoboob, but really, the bra was for support, not fashion. If I could breathe, not bounce, and play ultimate, I didn't particularly care that I had one giant lump across my chest.

Well, Champion bras fell the way all good products do: the design changed. Champion went cheaper on their materials. They went different on the shape. The newer models kept sucking more and more. Eventually, I gave up and started looking for other bras. And I looked for them. I bought I don't know, maybe 30 different bras to try? Bridget offered some suggestions. Kate offered other suggestions. I started doubling my bras when the ones I had started to wear out.

Note to ANYONE with large breasts looking for a sports bra: do not under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE listen to advice from a store employee with small breasts. They do not know what the fuck they are talking about, and will only tell you what the marketing copy says. Their recommendations are TERRIBLE. HORRIBLE. AWFUL. NO GOOD. And VERY BAD. Do not take advice about bras from someone who has no experience with the weight of two giant dumbells swinging from your chest. Do not.

Eventually, Claire noticed that, for years, I had been wearing two sports bras just all the time. "No one should have to wear two bras," she told me, and suggested The Pencil Test, a bra store in Portland. I didn't go for years (hello, pandemic), but eventually, late last year, finally made an appointment and went.

To say the experience was eye-opening does not do justice to the experience. Wow, it was amazing. And all the women working there had breasts! Not small ones (nothing wrong with small breasts, they are often quite beautiful, I just don't want your advice on bras).

Hey, folks, I am not a 32DD like I thought I was. No, I do not care if you know my bra size. I have a band size of 34 now (yay for pushups and muscle mass!). Okay, that was new to me. What thoroughly shocked me, however is that I am not a DD cup. I am someone who thought her cup size was C until her late-twenties when she finally agreed she was a D cup, acquiesing to DD only maybe 10 years ago, so be unsurprised to learn that I am actually a G cup. What the actual fuck? 34G? Yes.

That's what happens when the professionals size you up!

I asked for sports bras, and was given the Anita Extreme Control sports bra. I was also given the recommendation to go buy more from Amazon. Well, that Amazon purchase didn't work out well, but the site purchase did.

These bras are amazing! They come in all of the small chested, big breasted (and small breasted) sizes. They support very well. There's movement, but no bounce. The cups are shapely, if you care about not having the monoboob look (not a factor for me, but might be for you). The shoulder straps are wide enough not to dig into your shoulders. The band is stiff enough not to fold over or bind too tightly. The shininess on the packaging is good for a laugh, too.

I strongly recommend ordering from the Anita website directly, and not through Amazon. Anita has sales, so waiting for one and stocking up during the sale might be worthwhile. I adore these bras. I can run again with one bra, not two, be comfortable, and look gorgeous dahling gorgeous doing it. Rejoice!

Add new comment