Ah, the event that happens every couple years or so.

Kris and I disappear, separately mind you, not to be heard from, for one, sometimes two days at a time.

For Kris, the first disappearance happened in 2000, when he vanished for about 10 days straight. Couldn't find him anywhere.

Subsequent disappearances have been followed up with unusual withdrawal symptoms, funny smiles and animated gestures of wand waving and spell casting.

I'll see him again in two days.

When he's finished reading the latest Harry Potter.

Then I'll get to disappear.

But not before I finish up some projects. One in particular needs finishing up sooner than later (hi, Bharat!). My reward for finishing up that one will be reading about Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts.

How's that for motivation?

It's 9:20 at night. I have just finished up and launched the website, user-facing part of online rostering for the UPA. I have been nominally been sitting for, according to the timeclock I use, 11.5 hours. That's eleven and a half billable hours.

No wonder my butt is numb.

I need a run.

When I was in high school, I managed to get into a huge fight with my mother's husband. Of course, now I don't recall what the fight was about, but I'm sure at the time it was The Most Important Thing In The World™.

At some point in the argument, which lasted days as neither of us was willing to cede to the other in this Important Thing™, my mom told her husband to give up, let me win. He (of course) resisted. Why should he give up to a 14 year old? A 14 year old! Any rational adult (especially one who had survived being shot down in a helicopter in Viet Nam) could outlast a stubborn 14 year old. Sheesh!

But then my mom told him about The Cereal Incident.

When I was little (as in really small, as in 3 years old), I ate my cereal the wrong way. In other words, I ate cereal the way everyone else does. Of course, I now eat cereal the correct way, but back then I was young and innocent. Basically, I ate my morning Cheerios by pouring a bowl of milk, opening the cereal box, pouring in the cereal, then eating really fast. You have to eat cereal fast because, as everyone knows, soggy cereal sucks.

So, one morning (did I mention I was three?), I poured my milk, poured my cereal, and started eating as fast as I could. Unfortunately, my Cheerios became soggy before I could get to the ones on the bottom.

Ick.

So, when I was down to the soggy cereal (ick!), I took my bowl to the sink to pour the remains down the drain and put my bowl in the sink. I don't know how Mom and Dad managed to train us kids to put our dishes in the sink after a meal, but I can't recall not doing so.

On this particular morning, Dad saw me walking to the sink with the bowl of milk and soggy cereal, and told me to sit back down and eat it.

Huh?

Eat this soggy cereal?

Why? It's soggy.

I'm sure he replied with something like, you shouldn't pour so much into your bowl if you can't eat it. I don't recall that detail. I assume he came over and took the bowl from me, putting it back on the table. He probably plunked me down in the chair, too.

According to Mom, Dad told me to eat that bowl of cereal.

I refused.

Dad countered with the threat, "You will sit there until you do."

And so I did.

I sat there all morning. I remember "reading" the back of the Cheerios box, really the only thing to do when you're three and stuck at the kitchen table all morning. There was a Winnie the Pooh on the back of the box. He was on the left side of the box.

I sat there all afternoon. Mom would wander in and out of the kitchen looking at the forlorn little girl draped over the chair in sheer boredom, and wonder who was going to win this battle of wills. Or as she recalled, "The thing I remember is your being draped across the chair, sitting up, then with your feet up over the back of the chair, then laying sideways on your back, then your tummy, then kneeling... I think one time you may have been on the floor with your hand on the seat..."

I sat there all evening. Dad would sometimes come in to see how I was doing. He'd find me sneaking off, and put me back in the chair. He wasn't able to go to work that day because I wasn't off at nursery school, so someone had to be home with the kid.

Still I sat there.

I was allowed to go to the bathroom, and eventually I was allowed to go to bed. I wasn't allowed any other food with the family at dinner because I hadn't finished my breakfast.

Dad was ever so kind as to put the bowl into the refrigerator for me to consume the next day.

Joy.

The next morning, I was back at the table with the bowl of sugared milk and nearly non-existent Cheerios. By this time, the Cheerios had all disintegrated. All I needed to do was choke down the milk.

But to do that required (what else?) Cheerios!

I put a small handful into the milk, and ate the delicious, crunchy Cheerios with the uncomformably sweetened milk. I was ravenous at this point. I finished the milk, one handful of cereal at a time, thereby discovering the correct way to eat cereal.

I'm still not sure who won that battle of wills with my Dad. Sure, I ate the cereal. But he didn't go to work or out that night.

And my mother's husband?

He gave in after he heard the tale of the Cereal Incident.

Here's the part not publically available:

When I applied for the team, I made it very clear that I would be thrilled to be even an alternate on the team. Being an alternate would have meant that I would have to pay significantly more for my trip, as my hotel costs would not have been paid for as they are for the team members, but that would have meant little for the honor.

Apparently some of the other alternates didn't think so. Two weren't planning on going until they hooked up (including the sex part) and one of them made the team because of an injury. Suddenly the other one has to go. At the last minute. Did I mention that the woman of this relationship dumped another player on the team? How distracted was this guy, I wonder.

This Team USA just plain sucks. Their attitude sucks. Their commitment sucks. Their maturity sucks. Part of me is still bitter, but part of me is angry. Angry at the lost opportunity for the sport I love.

As I'm sitting here near the end of my work day, I can see one of the silver medals won by Team USA at the 2001 World Games in Akita, Japan.

It's a lovely medal: big, hefty, detailed, shiny.

And silver.

I look at it and wonder about this year's Team USA. From the rumors I've heard and the stories told directly to me, I have to officially predict another shiny silver medal for the team I so desperately wanted to be on.

Team USA (that would be the self-proclaimed premier ultimate team of the United States) lost in the semi-finals at Potlatch two weekends ago. Given the personalities on the team, I guess I shouldn't be surprised:

From the coach of the team, on the UPA's site:

On Friday night most of Team USA gathered for a pre-tourney dinner and then continued on with some libations. Those of us still operating on east coast time—or those not fully willing to join the sub-group of our team known as “team evil”—went to sleep. Others (far more evil) stayed out until last call. The core of evil ended up hot-tubbing in the building where Kati Halmos lives. I don’t have the details on how Kati’s condo mates felt about having Alex Nord running the hallways at five A.M., but I am pretty sure the almighty’s name was soon invoked.

Emphasis mine.

Sure, the tournament was supposed to be a fun tournament, a chance to lighten up and play some fun ultimate.

But, they lost in the semi-finals to another American team.

They lost. In the semis.

As ambassadors of my sport, for my country, this freaking sucks. You are supposed to be representatives for ultimate, not a bunch of over-confident, hung-over, undisciplined lushes.

That the team selected thinks drinking and hot-tubbing is more important than playing a tournament well is wrong. That even the coach thinks partying all night and getting drunk is okay and even encouraged, is wrong.

Potlatch was a tournament to practice, to learn how to play with the other players who, up until this point have probably been opponents, to finetune the offense, to learn where the weak points are on the team and how to minimize them. This isn't a tournament to get drunk every single freakin' night (read the rest of the coach's entry).

So here are my words to Team USA. $1 says you'll never hear them:

You suck.

Those words don't go out to all the members of the team. Those who went to bed early, played well, drank little, worked hard, and practiced diplomacy, I would say, "Thanks," and a big "Good luck! You, I'll be cheering for."