Knock knock

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Vinny and Heather came over this evening for a short time and a light dinner. When Vinny sat down at the couch, he noticed our "How to Stay Young" book, subtitled, "The Guide to Being Immature Forever," picked it up, and started reading it.

A few minutes later, he started laughing really hard. "Interupting cow! The funniest knock knock joke ever. It's so true!"

"It is?" I asked.

"It is!" he answered.

"Really? How?"

"Well, knock, knock..."

"Who's there."

"Interrupting cow."

pause

longer pause

"I don't get it."

Vinny stared at me. I stared back, and repeated, "I don't get it." He looked at me like I was dumb.

"You really don't get it?" he asked.

"No."

He turned away, going back to reading the book.

A while later, Chookie stopped by, too. We were talking for a while before I turned to him and said, "Say, Vinny says the interrupting cow knock knock joke is the best ever."

Chookie smiled. "It is! It is the best!"

"How? I don't get it."

"Really? Okay, knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

pause

"Uh, okay."

"Come on... interrupting cow who?"

"What? Wait, what? Omigod, did I forget that part of the joke?"

"Yep," Vinny piped up.

I guess Vinny's look of "you are dumb" was well deserved.

Annie, unplugged

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Annie has become quite the svelte dog. Her muscles bulge when she runs. You can see her chest muscles as she's lost all of her doggy fat, all of the soft parts of her body.

We feed Annie the same amount of food that we feed Bella: different formula, butthe same amount. Annie, however, runs around a lot more than Bella does. Sure, when we go for a walk, both the dogs and I all walk the same distance. When we go to a park, however, Annie runs around. When we go on a hike, Kris, Andy, Bella, Shadow and I walk x distance, Blue walks 2x distance, and Annie runs about 4x distance. She burns a lot of calories.

She's also very, very, very food motivated. Too much so in my opinion. I hate that she's always scavenging for food.

When we arrived home from Christmas, I thought she looked particularly lanky, so I thought to help her out: I decided to feed her more than her normal amount of food. She burns off the calories, what can it hurt?

Instead of her normal one scoop of food, I gave her three scoops of food for dinner, might have been four. She devoured it. Hoovered it. Ten seconds, it was gone.

Okay, clearly she can eat that much. I gave her that much again the next morning.

Well, last night, she wasn't doing so well. If Kris or I touched her along her back, she yelped. She wasn't able to jump up onto the couch, nor down from the couch. Come dinner time, she wasn't particularly interested in food, but was plenty interested in eating grass in the back.

Hmmmmm.... grass.... upset stomach. Crap.

I admitted to Kris this morning that Annie might be plugged up. "Plugged up? Why?" he asked. Well, see, you know, um...

Eventually, I confessed. I told him I had overfed the dog and maybe her intestines were impacted. Okay, he'd try to get a Saturday morning appointment with the vet.

I thought I'd try an old-fashioned way of unplugging her. I took her to the part this afternoon and let her run around. She managed all of maybe 20 yards before she stopped a took a dump. A spectacularly large one (lovely blogging material, that Annie). In the minute it took me to clean it up (and the next five it took me to clean up some other flippin' moronic dog owner's dog poop because he was too freakin' lazy to frackin' do it himself, thereby risking my ability to take my (Kris'?) dogs to the school because of his laziness), Annie had dashed off to the edge of the school yard and dumped again.

Well, there we go.

After that, she was happy as a clam, running around again, sniffing things, jumping up.

Apparently Annie's dog food is her goldfish. Need to get more fiber into that dog...

Or less food.

In one sitting.

Beware-O 11

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I went out to the 11th annual Beware-o the Sombrero tournament this morning. The tournament registration started at 7:45 am, in the far East Bay, about a 45 minute drive away, prompting me to ask Kris, "WHY? WHY, OH, why do we get up earlier for ultimate than we do in real life? Why?"

He just laughed.

So, I sent the tournament director an email requesting late registration. Whoo-hoo! I started at 9:00 am instead of 8:00 am like everyone else, though I actually arrived at 9:15. Boo. I did manage a couple points in the first game, which we won.

We also won the second game. And the third. The third game was the most interesting, as one of the opponents was a Jam guy, and another one was a Slow White woman. I was surprised at how many people said, "Wow! She's good!" about the Slow White woman, as all I could see her do is huck the disc away. Sure, she could throw the disc far, but throwing a disc far is worthless if no one actually catches her throws. shrug

My teammates were a lot of fun. There was a Pleasure Town player, a few UCLA players, some local players that recognized me, Ellie (Adam Fagin's friend who sprained her ankle at the Sunnyvale Savage Seven tournament), and Immay! (that would be Jimmy Wang).

I ended up leaving after the third game. It was cold. It was wet. We had four other women. I hadn't dropped or thrown away the disc, so hey, leave on an up note. Jimmy sent me an update about the rest of the day:

Hi Kitt,

We won all of our pool play games and lost in the finals.

We had a tough game in round 5 against a team who was also undefeated.
We were trading points most of the game and was up by a break at the
half. We squeezed by 11 to 9 at the soft cap.

Game 6 was initially close, but we pulled away after the half. The
game ended on a sad note when one of their women was clobbered in the
back of the head by a poach D when she made the catch on a floaty
hospital pass.

The final was 11/7 or 11/6. We had taken half at 6/4, but then an
apparent score by us was called back by a pick that was seemingly not
involved in the play. We lost momentum and they went on a scoring
streak to win the game.

Glad you could come out,
Jimmy

In Excel first

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andy: I think I need to write a program to calculate Dudo odds
kitt: real men calculate those odds in their heads
andy: after doing the calculations in excel the first time

Leave well enough alone

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I really need to learn to leave well enough alone sometimes. I really do.

When we first moved into the house, there was an ugly faux-brass light fixture thingy in the dining area.

I took it down about six months later, disliking the way it looked, and intending to put a lighted fan up soon after to help with the summer heat. Fans are great when you don't like air conditioners.

Well, I didn't find a fan I liked for another 2 years. By the time I did find one, however, I realized that I couldn't actually hang it up because the junction box didn't seem likely to be able to support the weight of the fan, much less the motion of it. Couple that realization with the realization we should have the house rewired, and the light fixture stayed two wires hanging from the ceiling.

Fast forward another few years to a roommate, and the wires are still there. Said roomie, Heather, comments on them every once in a while, wondering when we're going to fix the problem.

Oh, that? Yeah, I guess we should, eh?

Recently, we've been inspired by Andy's handyman work around his house. So, inspired, that we let him install our Smith-provided thermostat. Yay, us!

Really, though, he's inspired us (that, and practicing on the Indiana house), so we decided to install a temporary light since we weren't comfortable with the fan going up yet. So, we bought a light fixture, brought it home, opened it up, and went to install it.

To discover the light junction box is actually 1" too narrow for the fixture. Somehow, we managed a super-small, half-size light box for our dining area light. Great. Just great.

Andy offered to replace it, but wondered how the installed one was currently attached. Let's find out, I said, and brought out a hammer to pull out the nails and a screw driver to remove the screws. Was I really afraid the box wouldn't support the fan? I shouldn't have been. I could hang from that junction box without fear of falling, it was in there so well.

Well, was. It's not now.

Yeah, that's MUCH better than the two wires sticking out. MUCH.

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