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Bacon Tuxedo

Scalzi Story

Wherein I take a band name from Scalzi’s Next Band Name list, and spend no more than 20 minutes writing the story with the band name as a title.


Andrew looked down at the brochure, then back up at the caller. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time, and paused to consider just how long.

He had been ten when his parents separated. He knew they had split for good reasons, but there was always that small child in him that thought if only he had been a better kid, if only he had done something different, his childhood would have been different, would have been better. If only he had known as a ten year old what to do, he wouldn’t now be an adult who was afraid to make the wrong choice, for fear of it failing.

Just as the auctioneer stepped up to the platform to resume the afternoon session, Andrew shook himself out of his reminiscences, and looked up. He had other things to think about, more important things, like the next auction.

Andrew knew months ago when he saw the announcement of the tuxedo going up for auction, that he had to purchase it. To him, it was part of what was right in this crazy world: it represented hope and certainty in a realm where Andrew had only fear and uncertainty. He had gathered his funds, he had sold items he had known were less important to him, he pulled the money out of his rainy day fund, all so that he could be here and bid on this next item.

The auctioneer waited for the crowd to silence before beginning. Andrew was on the edge of his seat.

“The next item we have up for bid is the tuxedo worn by Kevin Bacon at his wedding to Kyra Sedgwick in September, 1988.”

Andrew was terribly excited. This was it. The tuxedo worn by the couple that, to him, represented love in the insane place of Southern California. They were together for decades, they were still together. They were together as a Hollywood couple. There was still hope in this world for love. Love that could last.

Andrew wanted that.

Andrew needed that.

“We start the bidding at five hundred.”

Andrew raised his paddle.

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