Make it worse?


I don't know that today could have been any worse. I mean, aside from falling asleep as my eyes were giving out on me last night, and waking I don't know how many times to get up and take more Tylenol or Excedrin or, hell, I don't know, maybe even some Vicodin in there somewhere, who can tell what the white pills that all look the same except for an E or a Watson on them are these days. I mean, really?

And aside from, of course, realizing that, hey look, there's a bright and shiny light RIGHT. IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. MY. VISION. just as I finished my to-do list for the day, and cleaned off the table in preparation for attacking the list, and stuffed all the clothes into the washing machine, and realized I had done all of the unfun tasks for the day and was ready to start the fun ones, but couldn't, because HEY, I CAN'T SEE.

No, that didn't make this day awful, oh, no. It wasn't the stabbing pains in the left side of my head, the first time that I noticed the spears being lopsided. It wasn't the near vampiric need to escape the bright, bright, oh, too bright sun as it tried to beat its way through the windows. Or the thunderous racket that is known as Bella's Snore, reverberating through the house. Or the snick, snick, snick, incessant and fucking never ending licking of that other DOG, who I swear watches me as she licks her crotch, just to make sure she can see just how disgusted I am an her slurping.

No, that wasn't the worst of the day. It wasn't even realizing that I had just asked Kris to drive four miles for gourmet ice cream that I was craving, that HE DIDN'T WANT. That he drove all the way over here because he wanted me to be happy, and here I was, eating the perfect ice cream, and BAWLING my eyes out at my answer to his innocent question of, "So, what do you think of the economy?" The question that I spent 10 minutes crying while taking exactly three breathes between which I railed on just how bad the economy was, and how I didn't know where we were going to come up with $20k to pay the tax bills we just received, the ones that I had budgeted $10k for because THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE LAST YEAR and if the economy is so great and we're doing so well, why is my tax bill twice as high as it was last year when I'M EARNING THE SAME AMOUNT?

And did my client pay up? I DON'T KNOW. I couldn't get to the post office to find out because I couldn't drive today, lest I, oh, SUDDENLY BECAME BLIND or something.


No, despite all of that, the crowning moment of this crappy day was the Tivo remote crashing to the floor and shattering into twenty three pieces.

Now that, THAT, was the highlight of the day. I didn't want to vegge out and watch television or anything. Nope, not at all.

It's not like I can just go to bed to sleep it off or anything.

There was a bright shining beacon of (true) joy (and not this sarcastic kind) when Megan came for lunch, picked me up and drove me to the bookstore so that I could find a book on how to write custom components in ActionScript so that I can finish this location based statistics recorder for ultimate that I've been talking about for YEARS and finally decided, well, if I can't play, at least I can do something useful on the sidelines.

I recall watching some video, maybe I Bleed Black, I'm not sure, where an older guy was interviewed on the sidelines, helping the younger kids out, taping their ankles, getting them food and drinks, cheering them on. I recall thinking at the time, what a loser, just get out there and play already, find another team and move on.

Doesn't work that way. Doesn't every work the way your retarded, stunted little mind thinks it does when you haven't grown enough to know what it's like to be in that position.

Of course, the guy just might have been a loser, can can't tell. I do know that I can comment, even if I can't condemn.