Hey look! Backhand fake!« an older post
a newer one »Cal Henderson

Okay, look, people

Okay, look, people, there are two times when you really piss me off when I'm driving, and you really need to stop doing both of them.

The worst? The absolute worst?

When I'm cruising down a street, going the speed limit, and you pull up to turn in front of me, and then wait until the last possible moment before you do pull out in front of me. What the fuck are you thinking? Either fucking wait for me or go! you stupid moron. Don't wait until I'm guaranteed to slam my radiator up your car's ass, go go go!

It's the pedal on the right. The right. The long one on the right.

Use it.

And when you get onto, oh, say a freeway, accelerate! I'm not in my car to watch you inch up to 105 (65 mph). There is a reason why my speedometer goes over 135 (that would be in kilometers, Mom), and it's not so that I can watch your car's bumper at 105.

While we're at it, sometimes there's a reason why I'm going 55 mph in the fucking slow lane. When the husband hands me the car keys with 200 miles on the tank and a fuel efficiency of 55 miles per gallon, and I drive it 30 miles to realize the efficiency is down to 48 miles to the gallon, you had better believe I'm going to draft that truck and drive 55 miles per hour to get that 100 miles per gallon efficiency. Don't think for a moment I'll feel a bit of guilt on trying to get that efficiency back up.

But, when I'm in the slow lane, do not fly up to my bumper then fucking honk you idiot. I'M IN THE SLOW LANE, you idiot. GO AROUND.

Why is the world full of such retarded drivers?


Hmmmm... I think I broke my keyboard pounding on the keys with this post.


Tell us how you reeeeeally feel, Kitt. :)