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Paul is my water bitch


Last Friday, I had dinner with Pine. He barbequed, dinner was tasty, movies entertaining. Before dinner, he offered me my choice of wine glass size: small, medium, or large. I requested small, but he handed me a medium glass, pointing out the wine needed to breathe and the medium glass would do that better than the small one.

He then took out a large glass for himself to use.

A really big glass.

"This glass will hold a bottle of wine."

"It will not."

"Yes, it will."

"Prove it."

Rather than pouring the whole bottle of wine he just opened into the glass, as I was pre-drinking encouraging him to do, he filled up a measuring glass to 750 mL and poured it into the glass.

It fit.

Fast forward to tonight's communal dinner. Paul and I are washing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, with Doyle helping dry and clean, too. Paul had just finished washing a really big wine glass, handing it to me to dry. I dried it, and said, "You know, this glass will hold a full bottle of wine."

"No, it won't."

"Sure it will."

"No, it won't. Who would believe that glass can hold a full bottle of wine?" Paul asked.

"Kitt." Doyle piped in.

"Fine," and I went about putting the glass away as Paul and Doyle continued talking about it. As I wandered back, I heard something about a wager. Neither seemed to believe me, so I just said, "I'll take the wager," and went to get an empty bottle.

I filled the bottle with water, comfirmed the level was reasonable with Paul, took out the glass and started pouring.

When the bottle was half way empty, and the glass looked three fourths full, I started thinking, "Crap. This may not be a Pine-large wine glass. Crap, crap, crap." But I kept pouring.

And pouring.

And pouring.

To end with the water level a half inch below the top of the glass. I turned to Paul, "What did I win?"

"Paul will be the team drink bitch."


Too bad I won't be at practice this Sunday. There's a team barbeque. I'll have to make sure the team abuses the privilege.