Almost had him convinced
Several years ago, I bet Kris I could pee farther than he could. He told me he'd take that bet in a heartbeat. Tonight, once again, I bet him, given a full bladder and the right angle, I could pee farther than he could. To my surprise, I had intimidated him into saying, no, he wouldn't take that bet.
We were having dinner with Tyler and Heather at the newly opened, local Indian house (notes to self: veggie Korma delicious, chicken Korma sucky suck, garlic naan means no kisses, but is oh-so-very tasty!). I wish I could recall how the conversation went, but somehow we managed to arrive at the topic of peeing distances. Tyler expressed disbelief at my assertion.
I had once told Kris I could do 100 situps, no problem. He bet me $100 (our standard bet) I couldn't do 100 in an hour. I won, but only just barely. It's become our standard measure by which we gauge how likely some seemingly innocent statement is true ("Sure. And I can do 100 situps. In an hour.").
Update: Was talking to Roshan, and yes, we agreed that 100 situps in an hour is ridiculously easy. So, I'm clearly misremembering the incident. It must have been 100 situps in like 10 minutes, but Kris was gracious and gave me 15, or something like that.
So, sure, I can pee farther than you. And I can do 100 situps. In an hour. (Ignoring the fact that, yes, I really can do 100 situps in an hour, and in far, far less than than hour, but that's because I train.)
I had to describe to Tyler various requirements, then commented that my smaller bladder and higher pressure, compared to Kris's larger bladder and lower pressure, was guaranteed to win. He tried to counter with Kris' amazing stomach muscles being able to force the urine out more effectively, but was thwarted by my comment, "His abs are no match for my Kegel exercises. Which I'm doing. Right. Now."
I learned to pee standing up a long while ago, but the website I learned from has since been bought out and redirects to a sucky-suck site now. The best I could find was the recently discovered (for me) NSFW site, with her description of the process. It's as I recall, but without the pictures and helpful comments.
I'll need to wait until after Heather moves out before I practice in the shower hitting one wall with my back against the other wall.