The DSL guy's magic box

The DSL guy came today.

Half an hour before he showed up, the DSL line finally synched to the lineM and we had connectivity. Truly, our luck.

I called the DSL company to tell them the connection was back up and the repair guy didn't have to stop by. The (increasingly misnamed) customer service rep declined to cancel the appointment, and said, too late, the repair guy was on his way. He was already fifteen minutes late for his FOUR HOUR WINDOW, but, by golly, he was going to show.

Darn it, sorry Kris, sex would have to wait another thirty minutes.

When he arrived, another fifteen minutes later, I told him the DSL modem link was back up. He insisted on checking the line, so I led him to the office. He disconnected the DSL box, connected up his "diagnostic box" and promptly told me the line was bad. Although the line may be working now, we should have them replace the wiring the next time it goes out.

Uh huh. Sure.

So, I asked him, "Why do you believe there's a problem with the interior wiring?"

He waved his hands, pointed to his magic box, and said his equipment told him so.

Ohhhhh-kaaaaaay.

What was he checking that the magic box told him our line was bad?

His diagnostics.

This continued for a good five minutes, as I attempted to get him to explain exactly why he believed the wiring problem was in the house. I needed to know because we'd have to pay for any interior wire fixes, whereas the DSL company would pay for any wiring problem outside the house. If this guy was telling me to spend five hundred dollars to fix my wiring, I wanted to know why he believed my wiring was faulty.

He wasn't able to answer anything more than his magic box said so.

Fine, I thought, switching tactics, what would I have to do if we decided to get our wiring fixed? Where would they start? For example, why do we have these three boxes and two filters on our line COMING INTO THE HOUSE when the problem is inside thwe house, I asked, while pointing to said boxes attached to the ceiling in our garage.

He looked up at the boxes, looked at me, looked back at the boxes, looked at me, and, in the same tone of voice, without losing a beat, said, "The problem is with the line coming into the house. We're responsible for that wiring, when you want to fix it."

I couldn't help but think, "Oh? Did your magic box tell you that, too?"