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Curse of the long torso


I'm starting to settle into a nice routine with Velocity Sports. I can leave work by 4:45, walk to the train station, curse the 4:53 bullet, board the 4:58 train, arrive in San Carlos and walk to VS in time for class. I've had to run only once when the train was late, and that run doubled as a good warmup, so I'm good with the routine.

If only I could wake up early enough in the morning to manage a full day of work before I leave, instead of finishing it up at ten in the evening.

I'm not so sure I should be working out just yet, with my nose not quite giving up on the illness from Monday. Wednesay's workout was ridiculously hard for me, but trivial for Kris. I blame the congestion in my chest.

Tonight, after the instructor lead warmup, my nose continued where my lungs left off on Wednesday. As most people were having a quick drink of water, I started blowing my nose. As the snot accumulated in the tissue, I wadded it up and pulled it away from my face to throw it away, only to realize when my hand was four inches from my face that the snot in my nose was still attached to the tissue in my hand.

Mortified, I smashed the tissue back onto my nose, thereby increasing the snot surface area by the area of my nose, while reaching for another tissue.

As I hid the first tissue with the second tissue, I turned to see the instructor looking at me quizzically. Great, just great. He saw the Flying Spaghetti Monster lose a tentril out my nose in an infinitely divine revelation before I could cover up my prophet status.

I spent the next minute shooting snot wads out my nose into the rapidly growing pile of tissues in the trash can. Of course they have no hand sanitizer, and I'm about to go fondle a small assortment of medicine balls. Great.

The workout ended up being remarkable easy. I wore my ankle brace tonight, which helped considerably. The workout was do-some-exercise with a medicine ball, sprint 20 yards to your other medicine ball, monkey shuffle back to the first ball, do some other exercise with said ball, and continue. We did 16 exericises and 12 sprints total. There were only three of us there, Kris, an older woman and me. I say, "older woman," but she's probably my age. Tragically, the instructor catered to her.


The last set of exercises we did involved core strength exercises. Which meant torso exercises. Which meant, time for suckage.

I have a long torso, which makes finding clothes particularly interesting. Standing up, I'm 67 inches tall. I am also in the automotive industry's 95th percentile in torso length. My legs are as long as a friend who is 53" tall. When sitting, I am the same height as a friend who is 74" tall. I'm all torso.

So, that sideways plank I'm supposed to hold for 30 seconds? Yeah, I'm getting my hips all of 2" off the ground and I'm thrilled for that height, because it means I'm straight.

With long torsos come short limbs, am I'm quite the T-rex when it comes to arm length.


Kris made the whole set of plank exercises worse by laughing at me, which made me giggle, which only made the ab exercises even harder.

Of course, the more I do, the easier it'll become.

Now, I just need to get the snot monster out of my nose.