Bad Deaths

I was recently talking with a friend of mine, a quiet conversation, just the two of us. He was comfortable enough during our talking to tell me about his family, which I was surprised and delighted by, and then saddened. The saddened part was from his tales of the sudden death of his mother, the car crash death of his step-mother and the freakish accidental death of his father.

All of them were bad deaths: violent, sudden, and without acceptance.

My concept of a "bad death" comes from having read Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, by Caitlin Doughty a couple months ago. It's a death that surprises you. A good one is a death where you live your life with the acceptance that it will end, recognize it and prepare for it. The idea of a "bad death" has lingered with me since I read the book.

Listening to my friend, and hearing his regrets about not being in contact with his parents more, saddened me. I wanted to give him a big hug and comfort him, though I am unsure who needed more comforting at that moment, he or I.

The conversation was a good reminder of what is important, friendships, experiences, relationships, and what isn't important overall. I'm glad I connect with my parents daily, the rest of my family weekly.

I'm working on keeping in touch with friends better. We're not long for this world, I'm hoping to make my ride a happier one.