What I'd Put Into A Conference Bag

Last week, Claire asked our group for conference schwag suggestions. "What would be good to receive in a conference bag?" In today's ponder time, I thought about this question.

It's such a great question. So many times I look through a conference bag and just throw away everything in it. What a waste, all of it tossed into the trash. Someone might have thought some of the items worth keeping, but one size never fits all. I shudder thinking of all those pens I tossed away, along with the stress balls and plastic things no one knows that to do with.

To combat this, if I were doing a conference bag, I'd likely do a giant "build your own" conference schwag bag with bins of various things that each conference attendee could pick and choose among, taking the items they* wanted and leaving the ones they* didn't. This leads, of course, to my first requirement when considering what I'd want in a conference bag: "Am I okay taking 100 of these home with me and using them?" If I wouldn't be willing to have a hundred leftovers, and use said left overs, I wouldn't put it in conference bag.

Start with the bag itself. Of course a recycled or cloth bag would be the likely first choice. Really though, if I had the sponsorship, everyone would start with a Pacsafe Venturesafe 15L Daypack. I love this backpack. It is lightweight, fits a 13" laptop in it, has an RFID protection slot for cards, is easy for a small woman or a big guy to carry, has anti-theft protection, and is just perfectly sized.

If I didn't have quite that level of sponsorship, I'd go with an eQpd bag. Made from recycled materials, and rot-proof, the eQpd bag (pronounced "equipped") is easy to carry, great for bulk or awkwardly-sized items, and made in Twisp (which is where Claire and I found them).

Barring that level of sponsorship, I would go with the conference-common cloth bags.

What would I put in it? Again, I'd have a Choose Your Own Adventure conference schwag bag, and these in the bins:

1. Shirts
2. Nice nail clippers - this one sounds weird, but the best bag item I ever had from an ultimate frisbee event was a nice set of nail clippers. I'm partial to the Tweezerman brand at this point.
3. A small, nice bottle opener keychain - most conferences have alcohol, though usually not ones that require a bottle opener. However, I really like the all-metal (not plastic with a metal edge embedded in it) bottle opener keychain I received at a conference. It is attached to my guest key keyring. Really like it.
4. Fidget toys - these are all the rage, but a somewhat good reason.
5. Nice notebooks - Notebooks are hit and miss. I prefer a 6mm-spacing, lightly-printed, lined notebook, but know many people who prefer the a dot grid. I LOVE Muji notebooks, the B5 and B6 sized, lined in particular, and would likely have branded ones at my conference.
6. Wood brain-teaser puzzles
7. Small stickers - can't stand big stickers
8. Maybe a Hat - baseball caps, or a beanie if the conference is in winter.
9. Notecards or cards - something lovely, letterpress maybe, that can be used or given away. With a stamped envelope to encourage light "thinking of you" letter writing. Moleskine has their Messages cards which would be adorable.
10. Seeds for interesting outdoor plants - something easy, toss them outside, and let them go. See the flowers the next spring.
11. Small keychain, medallion, something like a bracelet charm
12. Chopsticks - these could be fun
13. Water bottle - again, sometimes hit, sometimes miss. The advantage of a pick-your-own would be if you have enough water bottles, ignore this bin. The bottle would need to be nice, not plastic.
14. Post-its - with subtle branding, unsure of sizes. I like the tab size ones, I understand I'm odd.
15. Mini spatula - hey, some of us cook
16. Pins - I like 1" round button pins, but recognize the fashion is currently enamel pins.
17. Origami paper with instructions
18. Small pieces of art - YxYY did this its first year, and I love my small piece of art. I still have it, years later.
19. Coin purse - Blue Q has recycled coin purses that I keep using up and having stolen. I really like them. Yep, Abe's a babe.
20. Facial tissues - in a small pack
21. Sunscreen - I'm a fan of the stick kinds.
22. Small pack of colored pencils, pens, markers - for the note takers in the crowd
23. Battery pack - I received one at devObjective 3 years ago and I still use it. Doesn't have to be big. Mine is 3" x 1" x 1". It is light enough and carries enough juice to recharge my phone sufficiently to keep playing Pokémon Go, I mean, make a call home.
24. Gift cards to local establishments
25. Coffee or tea packs
26. Camping spork - I really like the one I received for Christmas 10 years ago.
27. Matchbooks - wooden matches with strike anywhere heads, not a paper matchbook, great for camping or lighting a wood stove.

If I were hosting an outdoor event, I might include:

1. Sunglasses
2. Lip balm
3. Headbands

So, that's my list.

You know what I wouldn't put in my bag?

Overly wordy brochures.

Junk pens.

Stress balls.

Crap products.

If I'm sponsoring an event, I don't want to go cheap on the schwag. I am more likely to ask, "Why?" and toss something poorly made than think, "Hey, what a great sponsorship, let me see what this company does."

DrupalCon had pajama bottoms as schwag one year. THOSE WERE GREAT. I wore mine out. I was a walking f---ing billboard for Drupal in those bottoms.

Gosh, I miss those jammies.

Good schwag.

*Look at me, breaking a lifetime habit of matching pronoun count, ignoring gender, and using "he" for a group of people that contains at least one man, for the singular "they" of colloquial speech. Old dog, new tricks, f--- any unwillingness to adapt, and all that.