How to tell how out of touch I have very sadly become with the Drupal community: the Mollom servers were turned off last month, the announcement of such was made last year, and I just now fixed it on this site.
Trying out Akismet. Given its history, I think this change will be fine. My plan is to give it a month trial, then start with my subscription payment. I really dislike "captcha and recaptcha and the pick twenty different pictures with signs in them wait does the sign pole count as part of the sign I don't know and I get it wrong every F'ING time google and I'm not the only one" processes, so here's hoping Akismet works as nicely (read: unobtrusively) as Mollom did.
If not, eh, there are other solutions, including, oh, I don't know, having people read my contact page which lists 4 alternative, working, digital ways to reach me outside of my (now working, but really, admittedly wasn't working for nearly two months) contact page.