SuperHappyDevHouse5 is this weekend, and I'm terribly entertained by the thought of this one.

As the last one was my first one, I didn't really know what to expect. I did greet people at the door (is it bad that I seem to enjoy that? It fits just so well with my personality), but that's about all I did except bring whiteboards.

This one, I'm helping David and Jeff a little bit. In the spirit of BarCamp, the last SuperHappyDevHouse (SHDH4, from now on) had presentations. Several people stepped up and presented, with several more people holding back for fear of not having anything "cool enough" to present.

Kid you not. "Not cool enough" was the reason one fellow told me he didn't want to present. I don't recall who he was, but in retrospect, I think he was an idiot for not presenting - it was a huge opportunity to receive really, really good feedback from people who can help.

As in seriously help.

I should have tried to convince him to present.

Oh well. Fire missles!

So, for this SuperHappyDevHouse (yes, SHDH5), we'll be having prizes for presenters. Entertaining prizes. Like Doyle-and-I standing-in-a-trophy-shop mocking-the-figurines prizes. I think one is absolutely hysterical. I hope everyone else does, too.

Worst comes to worst, they'll be funny at 3:00 am.

The trick, I think, is going to be picking one project I want to work on. Picking one! One!

Well, that and actually working on it.

Returning from an ultimate tournament is always a mini culture-shock. Not the shock of returning from Peru or Curacao or Scotland or Hong Kong, but the return always requires a slight perception adjustment.

On the way to work this morning, I had a rude awakening as, once again, a driver pulled out in front of me at the last. possible. moment and proceeded to drive more slowly than either the speed limit or the road conditions would dictate.

Because, of course, the four blocks of empty space was too small to pull into, and in front of me was clearly the only place to be.

Clearly.

Much different than leaving the driving to Kris the whole week.

Much.

So, while following the doofus for the seven blocks that our commutes overlapped, I looked down to see how slowly we were driving and, what the?, my car was in mph.

MPH? Huh?

Okay, who's been driving my car?

I switched it back to km/h, only to have it switch back to mph when I started it back up 10 minutes later. If I wanted to drive the car in mph, I wouldn't be complaining about the car switching from km/h.

The gas tank level readings were also fluctuating between two bars and eight, so I'm getting concerned about the electrical system. The radio stations hadn't reset, so the battery isn't dead. Apparently a week of not being driven is cause for concern.

At least I ordered a replacement bumper and front right quarterpanel for the car today. Doyle offered to help me switch out the damaged ones, so we have a project for this weekend or next. Tragically, they don't come painted, so I'll have to get them painted after we've replaced them.

I'm torn.

Do I head off on a short road trip with an old friend and take the opportunity to catch up, or do I stick with all the plans I've already made. Do I drive two days with Paul and spend the weekend with my mom (whom I didn't call this evening because I forgot about the time change and that Arizona moved back into the Mountain time zone grrrrrr...), or do I head off to a 10 year anniversary party, a bring your own crab barbeque and two league games?

Argh. I don't know!

I'm terribly interested in going. The tickets aren't too bad in cost (about $300 total, less if I finagle quickly). I might be able to swing the time off from work by working this coming weekend to take the next weekend off.

And the experience would be really interesting.

It could be a completely eye-opening, mind-tearing, soul-healing experience. Or it could be a complete disaster. Surely nothing in the middle is possible. Of course not, in as much as that man has, in the last six months, managed to trigger more tears from me than even Kris.

I'm not quite sure how he does it, but from a I'm-not-crying-right-now perspective, it's kinda funny. He manages to ask the right leading questions at just the right time to push the right buttons and get me to think of things, thoughts and events I haven't thought about in a long time, or had pushed away until later, and that later became now. Most of the tears have been healing ones: reflection, acceptance, and permission to move beyond the memories, but some of them have also been tears of frustration.

And all of them good, because they've been a release, and have helped me in many ways: to see when I've been spinning in circles instead of moving forward, to gain perspective on the past, and to question what the heck I believe in.

Oh, to go, or not to go?

To look inside, or avoid the internal gaze again?

Our season is finally over. We're the 13th ranked mixed ultimate team in the country. Seems quite strange to be ranked, to have played at Nationals, to be considered an elite player.

Strange, but very, very cool.

All the little projects I've been meaning to do I'll finally have time to do. Part of me is thrilled by the prospect, and the other part is worried I'm going to fill it with tiny, inconsequential crap that takes up time, but accomplishes pretty much nothing in the long term.

My first priority is going to be heal. Heal all the nagging injuries that plagued me this season. The left hamstring always hurting a bit, the right quad just about tweaked, the popping knees, the loose ankles, the lack of upper body strength. Working out with G last year and early this year was the best thing that could have happened to me in terms of physical training. I know what it takes to be an athlete, the trick is going to be committing to it.

So, health is at the top of the list. It probably should have always been there, because from there many, many other benefits arise: more self confidence, more energy, less pain, fewer blue moments - from the positive physical health always comes the positive mental health.

Kris had commented to me earlier in this month that I need to be fully committed to being healthy, which surprised me, as I considered myself to be a healthy person. He further explained that, yes, when I eat, I eat healthy, but I'm inconsistent about my eating (yeah, sure, I eat when I'm both hungry and aware I'm hungry, but I'm not regular about my eating times, skipping breakfast most of the time, not taking in enough protein to heal properly and grow muscle, missing various nutrients). And inconsistent about my workouts, being completely sedentary some days, and incredibly active the next.

My sleep habits? Really, really bad.

So, coming here to Nationals has definitely inspired me to make that commitment. Sure, it's strange to be here, but, dammit, I want to come back.