Good lord, somebody please tell me how I made it to adulthood?

I mean, some people do this everyday.

Willingly.

For years on end!

Some people even get paid for this. And they still do it willingly.

These people are insane.

Day three of Sam's visit has been far more challenging than the last two. Why? We've run out of things to do. I can't keep the "I'm bored. Can I watch TV?" questions from spilling out of his mouth any longer.

No, kid, you cannot watch television. Go read a book.

Oh, wait, you don't know how to read yet. Crap!

Come on, one o'clock! Swim time!

Sam, while holding his $5.37, "Back home, I have more than anyone in the world.

Kris replied, "Cool! I'm glad I know you. I'm probably going to ask for a loan pretty soon."

"Okay."

"Do you know what a loan is?"

"Yes."

"What's a loan?"

"When you're all by yourself."

Um, well, that was a little unexpected.

I wandered over to the Blogher Conference website and discovered my site is listed on the left hand side blogroll. The name for my blog is incorrect, but it's still listed.

Whoops.

For a site that tries to stay out of search engines, that link is money.

Darn it.

Sam: "I want to take this with us."

Me: "Okay."

"If there is a bench, you can sit and watch it."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I want to play."

"Well, I want to play, too."

"But I don't want it to get stealed." (Yeah, I'm sure he meant stolen.)

"Well, I want to play, too. I don't want to sit around watching your stuff while you play. That's not fair."

"Oh."

Long pause.

"I guess I don't want to take it."

My thought? "Damn straight."

"Can we go to Walmart to look for a Big Wheel?"

"I don't go to Walmart."

Sam looks at me incredulously. "Why don't you go to Walmart?"

"Because Walmart contributes heavily to the destruction of the American manufacturing industry."

"Huh?"

"You know how Walmart always has 'the lowest prices'?"

He eyes me suspiciously.

"Yeah?"

"Well, they do that by forcing American manufacturers to provide them with lower prices that they "can pass along to the consumer," while still maintaining their own profits. The manufacturer is forced to cut costs to the point of profit loss for themselves, thereby then forcing them to look overseas for manufacturing, causing lost jobs and lower wages for Americans. WalMart also forces the manufacturers that stay with them to use non-standard accounting and inventory practices that they develop for their internal systems, causing the small manufacturer additional costs to comply with the behemoth's requests. And, they also fail to provide living wages, employee benefits or equal opportunity.

Oh, and the quality of merchandise is poor."

Long pause.

"I guess we'll have to go to the mall."