Do you like Ranch?

While at a Wild Oats today for lunch, I watched a woman at the salad bar spill the entire two foot pile of take-away containers. I was standing half way down the salad bar when a clatter pulled my attention to the end of the bar. I turned to look at the cacophany, and watched in suppressed amusement as the woman attempted to catch the falling containers, mostly by knocking over the next stack of containers.

As I wondered how embarassed she must be feeling, I noticed she was looking around furtively. "More than a little bit," I thought.

I finished filling up my salad container, dressing and all, and started filling up a second container for a coworker who, due to time constraints, was unable to pick up lunch for herself. At the end of the bar were the dressings. After pondering for a moment which dressing my coworker would like, I decided on the ranch dressing.

I'm never sure how much dressings separate, so I pretty much always shake them. I picked up the large container of ranch dressing and tightened the lid. You can never be too sure, you know. The container was fairly big, so I grabbed it with both hands, and started shaking.

After the first shake, I realized the viscosity of the ranch dressing was pretty high, so I put my whole body into this shake. I figured three really good shakes and it'll be well mixed.

One ...

Two ...

BLURP!

Turns out, the cap was a flip top, and not a screw on lid.

I had just sprayed ranch dressing all over the bar, the counter, my salad, my arms and my shoes.

I looked up to see the container lady smiling at me.

"It's the salad bar."

Heh. Yeah.

• Log in to read full content