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Hate Shark

Scalzi Story

Wherein I take a band name from Scalzi’s Next Band Name list, and spend no more than 20 minutes writing the story with the band name as a title.


“You did what?” Andi screamed at him.

“It’s not that bad,” Tom replied.


“It’s not.”


“Yes, seriously, it’s not.”

“Come ON!” she cried out, throwing her hands down in frustration at the same time. “You have GOT to be kidding me!” She turned and stomped off down the street, quickly lost in the line of people waiting at the theatre door.

“Well, that didn’t go well,” Josh commented, pushing himself off the brick wall where he had been watching Tom and Andi.

Tom stopped watching where Andi had gone, and turned to look at Josh. “You think?” he said.

Josh chuckled, “Heh, yeah, I think that didn’t go well.”

Tom looked back in the direction of Andi, then sighed. He moved closer to Josh, and leaned against the wall where Josh had just been. “It seemed like a fine name to me.”


“Oh, not you, too!”

“Yeah, me, too. It’s an awful name.”

“Why? It’s no worse than any of the names we’ve been talking about for months. Every time one of us suggests a new name, we seem maybe okay with it for a day or two, then everyone hates it. This one at least has some relevance.”

“It does?”

“Yes,” Tom said emphatically.


“What’s Andi’s favorite show?”

Josh thought for a moment, then looked back at Josh. “Okay, fine, Gillian’s Island. The first part of the name is kinda obvious, too.”

“It is?” Tom was now puzzled.

“Sure. You and Andi are both in love with each other.”

“We are not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Are not.”

“Yes. You are. And the only two people in this whole fucking world that don’t know it or won’t admit it are the two of you. So, yeah, the name makes total sense now.”


“You’re still a moron, though.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you didn’t actually talk to any of us before you named us. We would have chosen something good.”

“Right. Like the five of us can decide on anything. It’s been six months and we have had how many name suggestions? And how many decisions?”

Josh stayed quiet.

“Yeah. This is our first gig, we needed something. We have something.”

They stood there, each in his own thoughts for a bit longer. The sounds of the crowd drove down the street to them, the noise of the traffic, and the life of a city, followed close.

Tom sighed, pushed away from the wall, and started walking in the direction Andi had gone.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?” Josh called after him.

“To see if I can change our name on tonight’s card,”

“Oh, okay. To what?”

“I don’t know. Something that’s the complete opposite of what we have now. Apparently Love Minnows is a bad name for a ska band.”

He kept walking.

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