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Highest stress, lowest payout


What happens when your highest level of stress is caused by the client who pays the lowest fee? What happens when the demands of one client are disproportionate to the returns received?

Most people cut bait, instead of trying to fish. Or they cut bait much sooner than expected.

I tend to bill about 30-50% more hours a month than Mike does. He earns 50-100% more a month than I do. If I'm not deriving serious joy from those extra hours, I'm doing something wrong.

I'm doing something wrong.

I've been unhappy for a long while now. My unhappiness has been growing along with my stress levels. My joy in life, however, has been decreasing, along with my love of ultimate (playing, organizing, developing), desire to go outside and hike, my time spent gardening, number of books I've read for pleasure and hours spent with Kris.

It took me a long while to figure out that the first three paragraphs were seriousl contributors to the results of the fifth paragraph.

But now that I've figured it out (Mike and Kris figured it out months ago), I want fix the problem, adjust things, move on. I want to enjoy life, ultimate, programming, gardening, reading, Kris (and not in that order). Except that I'm already committed. Committed to projects, committed to solving problems, committed to one more task.

One more.

One more.

Is it always one more? Does it have to always be one more?

No. And that's my new answer. No.

No no no no no no no no no.