Reasons I would fire me

In as much as I work for myself, it's hard to get fired. I mean, yeah, my boss is a complete, uh, um, whatever... I can't get fired, I can only quit and find a new job.

But that doesn't mean I will always have this gig. I mean, I could certainly annoy many future clients with this site. If the work dries, up, well then, no job.

Yet, today I was pondering reasons why I would fire myself. It'd have to be a pretty serious reason, I would think. Something that warrants a seriously unceremonious dump on the arse.

• speaking in tongues such that I didn't understand what I was saying. Communication is key.
• having a kid. As near as I can tell, that would be two full time jobs, which is one too many for anyone.
• fidgeting too much. Sit still already!
• playing too much ultimate. There's work to be done, woman!
• bellowing at the dogs. STFU already! You, too, dogs!
• any form of sexual harrassment. Clearly that's a perfectly valid reason to fire myself.
• eating all the chocolate. I need some, too! Oh wait, not that much.
• working in the office naked. That's just gross. I sit in those chairs!

I'm sure there are other reasons. I'll have to ponder them.