Why the hell did I upgrade to Firefox 2 again? Have I ever called Firefox a PoS? I certainly didn't mean it then like I do now. Good lord is this thing a dog. Why does it take more than 10 seconds for a new tab to open when I have only one other tab open? Dog of a program. Sheesh.

Today is our Second Christmas. Instead of crazy clothing choices, we had exciting rounds of flying toys. Starting with the mini marshmallow launchers, which we opened first because that was the gift that was handed to us first by someone who didn't know what was in the wrapped boxes, but did notice there were four of them with the exact same shape.

Nothing like discovering bags of marshmallows strategically placed all around the room, in four corners, for the four combatants with marshmallow launchers. Kris, Shaun, Jen and I all dashed off to find our ammo supply, filled, and commenced our round-robin assault on each other.

So, imagine a largish room, maybe 30 x 20, with four adults in their thirties, running around, marshmallows flying in all directions, while two kids watch in amazement, and two other adults laugh hysterically at the scene.

Now imagine this going on at peak intensity for 20 minutes.

Other presents? What? There's more? Why?

We took at least 20 minutes before some reminded us of our other presents. And that happened only after we were done laughing so hard our sides ached.

Although the marshmellow launcher was our first toy, perhaps the finest, we also received a flying helicopter for air laser tag duels, an electronic board game, a dice game, a sudoko puzzlebook, and a book on how to stay immature forever.

Did I mention the marshmallow launcher?

Yeah.

The grande finale was the super-secret, everyone-open-his-present-at-the-same-time set of gifts that, when all opened at the same time, revealed a complete Wii, with controllers for four players and a Guitar Hero controller. Kris' dad had gone out three times before dawn, before Thanksgiving, to line up to purchase a Wii for the family.

We spent the rest of the day in that largish room, leaving only for sustenance and a brief walk at my insistence.

Had to nudge the schedule somehow.

This morning, after managing to fall back asleep for an hour, Kris and I were woken up to some loud DVD player blaring some Christmas song a its top volume, which mean lovely Christmas distortion. Kris managed to drag himself up out of bed and follow the smells of breakfast into the kitchen, my will power is much stronger.

I managed another 10 minutes before Kris returned to insist I rise, lest the Christmas schedule be thrown off course by a slack ass daughter-in-law who won't get out of bed. We have a schedule to keep! I agreed to the schedule last night, so get. up. right. now.

Kris left, I dragged my butt out of bed and to the computer to ask no one in particular, "In what kind of delusional world do you get mad at me for failing to follow schedule you claim I approved, but in reality have never seen, much less know? And! At which point did you forget that 8:30 am East Coast is still 5:30 am Pacific?"

Yeah, not so cheerful in the morning. I claim no responsibility for any words I type while still in the throes of slumber.

Somehow my fingers moved, my arms moved, and my legs moved. I managed to stumble to the bathroom, start the shower, and wake up with the water cascading down on me. After showering, drying off, clothing myself, and wandering into the kitchen, I verified I had time to eat breakfast, no I hadn't blown the schedule, there were four people still missing from the morning. Kris' mom makes the most delicious baked oatmeal, which is a treat every time we come. When I was done, I thanked his mom.

"Thank you for making bo... baked oatmeal. It's delicious."

"You're welcome," Kris' mom answered.

"Did you almost call it boatmeal?" Kris asked.

*blink*

"Uh...."

*blink*

"Well.... yeah, um, well, there's no ache in this breakfast."

One dramatic pause later...

"Boatmeal it is."

Chookie would be so proud.

I wake up a 4 am. It happens, I've accepted that every morning, some time between 4:01 am and 4:15 am, my body temperature will rise, my eyes will fly open, and I will wake up.

I will be wide awake.

With little chance of falling asleep.

The best thing to do during these waking moments is to address the overwhelming urge to pee. The timing works out well, so why not?

Still, waking up at 4:00 am every morning is a bit annoying.

Except when it's not.

Like when I'm on the East Coast. 7:00 isn't so bad.

Added to my daily list, Might become a new favorite.

"What do you think being swallowed whole by a blue whale is like?"

Figure 36 is so way worth it.