Letters on a plane

Letter #1

Dear Flight Attendant,

In case you didn't realize, whispering to be heard from 3 feet away, at 22000 feet above sea level means you have to speak more loudly than you would in a quiet room. That "confidential" complaining about a fellow passenger? Not as secret as you thought it was.

Sincerely,

The passenger in 21C

Letter #2

Dear Fellow passenger,

That gas you're trying to suppress? Yeah, it's not working. Your ass smells something horiible. Okay, so yes, I'm in the aisle seat. I prefer to sit here so that I can get up and go to the bathroom easily. However, I assure you that I do not mind AT ALL getting up and allowing you access the aisle to use the lavatory.

You know what? I actually ENCOURAGE you to stand up and move out of your seat, down the aisle and into said lavatory. No really. I don't mind.

Go ahead..

The passenger in 21C.

I wonder if it's rude to ask the person next to me if he needs to use the lavatory. I mean, any more rude than farting all the way from Boston to Chicago? It seems this is a recurring theme, so there should be some manners policy on it.