tl;dr: HeathNet sucks ass.

Long version:

So, Kris has had poison ivy going on ten days now. He's been miserable in more ways that I can think with his swatch of infected area, now ranging in the size of 10" long by about 4" wide, much of it raised, bumping, oozing and inflamed. After a week of calamine lotion, cold compresses and increasingly ineffective benadryl, Kris finally took my suggestion (my increasingly insistent suggestion, because we all know how stubborn boys can be) and called his dad for help.

A while ago, I received a letter. Although it was technically addressed to me, it wasn't addressed to a name I use frequently, much less often. When I opened it, I was told that

I could

Yeah, those two exclamation points? Included for free.

The letter was three pages, detailing how, for $199 or less, I could send junk mail to 200 people and through some level of ROAR, 7.5% of them would send $1 to each of the six names on a list in the mail. Those 15 then do the same thing and send out 200 letters, hopefully with a 7.5% return rate. Do the numbers and you'll receive $813,000 IN WEEKS.

Right.

How kind that the letter includes an advertisement for where you can get a list of 500 names for only $75! What a deal. Fortunately, that goes in reverse, and now that I know my name and address is in their database, I can get it out. But that's an aside.

What isn't an aside is the fact that the NAMES and ADDRESSES (and some lack of intelligence and abundance of laziness) of these six people are in the letter; anyone with an interesting enough name on the list is findable. Anyone with an internet connection and browser and FIGURE OUT WHO YOU ARE.

So, let's check out these people, shall we?

Hello, Makesha Cummins. You may be a moron. Googling for your name, we find your facebook page and discover you like Usher, you're 36 years old, looking for work as an au pair, might be overweight, and that you fell for the acai berry scam, too. How'd the ponzi scheme work out for you, Makesha? Recall, you let me know that you live at 4650 Jenson Lane, Colorado Springs, CO 80922.

Hello, Duane Carlyle of 1709 Southdale Drive, Mattoon IL 61938. You have a more common name, making finding you more difficult, but you are 59. Please say hello to Janice for me. I see that you live in the boonies.

Linda Thompson of 312 Carolina Nooseneck Road, Richmond RI 02898, I am really assuming you are not the singer, actress, attorney with Bill Clinton conspiracy theories, or the mayor of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Wow, that would be most unfortunate if the mayor sent me a ponzi scheme letter. Think of the scandal with that one! Ah, well, shit, you ARE the "business coach and mentor [who] assists serious entrepreneurs in building a profitable online business with multiple incomes streams." Do ponzi schemes and potential mail fraud count as multiple income streams? Oh, and here's your phone number 401-539-2962 and your email ThompsonBrennan.Linda8@gmail.com.

Nelson Blanco of 8265 Old Forge Road, Southaven, MS 38671, you manage to hide among the other Nelson Blancos, much more readily than Linda does, actually. However, it's clear that you've earned 2 stars on your goal to "We don't want a job. We just want to be a help and to build a great organization of distributors," meaning you don't actually produce anything, you just moosh things around.

Virgil, Virgil, Virgil. I would have guessed a name like yours would have been SO easy to find. Turns out, "Virgil Porter"s have been around since at least the mid 1800s. Wow. However, with your address of 6051 61st Ave SE Lavey WA 98513, you gave a little more information than you probably intended. Was the spelling of "Lavey" when you live in "Lacey" intentional? Or is that how you track junk mailers? You have three cars, eh? Is that one under a blue tarp on blocks? Do you go running along Thornbury at all? Of course, with a name like Virgil F. Porter Jr, your bowling prowess will not go unnoticed (nice scores of 114,178,182, you'd beat me two of three times). Way to go with that Governor's Award in 2002.

Gina Crenshaw, your address being 5656 S US Hwy 421, Kirklin IN 46050 (here, here's the link to your place, you're really close to the Assembly of God, I note), you almost managed to sneek through, despite the not-so-common name. However, almost is not the same as not-findable, and you're a 42 year old finance executive. Does that mean you work at a bank? OH WAIT! YOU USED A SCHOOL ADDRESS FOR YOUR PONZI SCHEME. What the hell are you thinking? Are you REALLY that clueless?

So, all of you sent your address to a complete stranger. Or, you're all surprised at the dollar bills being sent to you, I guess.

In really, 30 minutes of searching online, without spending any money, and I have enough info to mock you. Why would you willingly do that?

I can't help but wonder if these chain letters are really just marketing materials from the data warehouses as an alternative revenue stream. Why sell to hundreds of businesses when you can sell to thousands of consumers?

This is the workout I've done twice (as the coach of the SCU women's team and way back when in the final year of Special K) to great success. It builds sprinting endurance, which is needed for ultimate, and better than just "putting in miles."

Several people asked for it today, so I modified it for starting this week. It'll get you in good shape for the season, front loading at the beginning of the season so that you can maintain fitness and work on speed in the second half of the season. The workouts start easy, but are rather hard at the end of the season. Worth it though.

Overview

There are three workouts a week, which should be done on days when we don't practice. The schedule assumes you'll be playing ultimate twice a week also. If you can, run these in the morning (running in the morning will train your body to be ready to move in the morning at tournaments), though DOING the workout is more important than doing the workout in the morning.

The three workouts are: straight sprints, shuttle sprints and "long" distance running. You can substitute sprint-8 workouts for the distance running. I've put days in the workout (Monday, Wednesday, Friday), but you should adjust the days to what works best for you.

IF YOU MISS A WORKOUT (travel, illness, work, life, they happen), run a make up workout as soon as you can (within a day or two of the scheduled day). If you cannot do a workout at all, skip the workout and continue with the schedule. If you skip two workouts in a row, don't skip the week, redo it.

Straight Sprints

The straight sprints consist of multiples of 20m, 40m, 50m and 90m sprints. For each of these, sprint down as hard as you can. These are 95% sprints, not jogs, not runs, but SPRINTS! After ending the sprint, immediately turn around and jog back to the starting cone. This is a good jog, lift your knees, use your arms. When you're back at the starting cone, start your rest time.

The shorter distances (20m and 40m) you are working on your acceleration. Keep good form. Lean from the hips, use your arms. Breathe.

The rest times between sprints are:

20 m = 25 seconds
40 m = 30 seconds
50 m = 45 seconds
90 m = 60 seconds

Shuttles

For the shuttle workouts, there are three types of runs: a stinker, a stinkette and a suicide (or eye/I of pain, if you use that term). These runs are done so that you can FINISH the workout. You want to run as hard as you can (start the first ones at 70% in the beginning so that your final run's 100% time is the same as your first run's 70% time).

Concentrate on form on the stops and starts. This means, two steps before a cone, pump your arms really fast. This will cause your feet to start moving faster, which will enable you to plant, sink into the step and turn quickly. Talk to me at practice if you want more details on this.

For this workout, put markers (cones) at 0, 5m, 10m, 15m, 20m, 25m and 50m.

A stinker is:

Start at the 0 cone, sprint 50m out and back 3 times in a row for a total of 300 m. If you are feeling really ambitious, do this in under 1 minute 5 seconds. Rest one and a half minutes afterwards. On the last one, pick up the 50m cone.

A stinkette is:

Start at the 0 cone, sprint to the 25m cone and back 6 times in a row for a total of 300 m. If you are feeling really ambitious, do this in under 1 minute 10 seconds. Rest one and a half minutes afterwards.

A suicide is:

Start at the 0 cone, run 5m out and back, then increase to running 10m and back, 15m and back, 20m and back, and 25m out and back. Rest 25 seconds afterwards.

A sprint-8 is:

This workout is done without cones. You will need a stop watch. Start your watch and sprint as hard as you can for 30 seconds. At 30 seconds, stop and rest for 90 seconds. You can walk back to your starting point, but reaching your starting point isn't important. You can just stand around, if you'd like. Repeat the 30 second sprint as hard as you can followed by 90 seconds of rest seven times, for a total of eight sprints.

This workout finishes in 14.5 minutes, not including warmups, so use this when you're in a hurry.

The workout schedule

The workout schedule, 3/01/10 - early June

3/01/10 Monday
  7x20, 5x40, 3x50, 3x90

3/03/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 2 stinkettes, 3 suicides

3/05/10 Friday
  2 mile run or sprint-8


3/08/10 Monday
  7x20, 5x40, 3x50, 3x90

3/10/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 2 stinkettes, 3 suicides

3/12/10 Friday
  2 mile run or sprint-8


3/15/10 Monday
  7x20, 5x40, 4x50, 4x90

3/17/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 2 stinkettes, 4 suicides

3/19/10 Friday
  2.5 mile run or sprint-8


3/22/10 Monday
  8x20, 6x40, 4x50, 4x90

3/24/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 2 stinkettes, 4 suicides

3/26/10 Friday
  2.5 mile run


3/29/10 Monday
  8x20, 6x40, 4x50, 4x90

3/31/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 2 stinkettes, 4 suicides

4/02/10 Friday
  2.5 mile run or sprint-8


4/05/10 Monday
  8x20, 6x40, 4x50, 4x90

4/07/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 3 stinkettes, 5 suicides

4/09/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8


4/12/10 Monday
  9x20, 7x40, 5x50, 5x90

4/14/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 3 stinkettes, 5 suicides

4/16/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8


4/19/10 Monday
  9x20, 7x40, 5x50, 5x90

4/21/10 Wednesday
  1 stinker, 3 stinkettes, 5 suicides

4/23/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8


4/26/10 Monday
  10x20, 8x40, 5x50, 5x90

4/28/10 Wednesday
  1.5 stinkers, 3 stinkettes, 5 suicides

4/30/10 Friday 
  3 mile run or sprint-8


5/03/10 Monday
  10x20, 8x40, 6x50, 6x90

5/05/10 Wednesday
  1.5 stinkers, 3 stinkettes, 5 suicides

5/07/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8


5/10/10 Monday
  12x20, 8x40, 6x50, 6x90

5/12/10 Wednesday
  1.5 stinkers, 3 stinkettes, 6 suicides

5/14/10 Friday *Regionals
  3 mile run or sprint-8


5/17/10 Monday
  14x20, 9x40, 7x50, 7x90

5/19/10 Wednesday
  2 stinkers, 4 stinkettes, 6 suicides

5/21/10 Friday
  3 mile run


5/24/10 Monday
  14x20, 9x40, 7x50, 7x90

5/26/10 Wednesday
  2 stinkers, 4 stinkettes, 7 suicides

5/28/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8


5/31/10 Monday
  16x20, 10x40, 8x50, 8x90

6/2/10 Wednesday
  2 stinkers, 4 stinkettes, 7 suicides

6/4/10 Friday
  3 mile run or sprint-8

Maintenance: repeat or increase the last week, as needed. The maximum runs should be:

20x20, 15x40, 10x50, 10x90
4 stinkers, 6 stinkettes, 10 suicides

Last night / early this morning, there was an 8.8 earthquake in Chile. As Kris and I went to bed last night, there were no deaths reported, no pictures to see, no coverage to read, just a tweet and a single AP announcement of the earthquake.

This morning, however, the coverage was overwhelming. Aside from hundreds of tweets in my following stream alone, there were pictures available, tsunami warnings for California, tsunami alarms for Hawaii, serious coverage about the devastation in Chile.

So much so that no one will notice the 7.2 earthquake in Japan that happened yesterday, too.

Between the Chile and the 6.8 in Haiti last month, the awareness of catastrophic occurrences and other smaller, but still significant, disasters increases.

And at some point, weariness sets in.

I may have been one of the three people in the United States who didn't contribute to the Haiti disaster relief. I chose not to contribute for many reasons:

1. The first response from Haiti was "Don't send clothes and food, send money."

The people most in need of help cannot eat money. Money won't keep them warm at night, or keep mosquitos from spreading disease. I felt the reaction was, "Hot damn, disaster! Let's milk it!"

2. The government bled the people dry, and continue to milk it.

The country is the poorest in the western hemisphere. The government bled the people dry, continues to bleed the people dry, and, as above, will milk the disaster to continue to receive funds they have not earned and will not put to good use.

I dislike immensely those who use power for personal gains instead of helping the people who gave them power to begin with. I dislike those who use power to stay in power, and decline to help them.

3. Donating $10 via text means the phone company gets $2 off the top.

If I wanted to give money to T-Mobile, I'd write a check. I don't want to give money to an already crappy industry.

But back to the weariness that will surely set in.

In 2005, at the end of March, an 8.7 earthquake, possibly an aftershock of the 9.0 from the previous December, hit Indonesia. The December earthquake killed more than 250,000 people with the tsunami triggered by the earthquake; this March one another 1000.

In August, Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana and Mississippi. While the deathtoll was a "mere" 1800 people, tens of thousands were homeless, and millions without "modern comforts" of electricity, roads, and communication.

Soon after that, wildfires raged in California. four more hurricanes fell, killing another couple thousand people in Central America. A landslide buried an entire town in Guatemala. A 7.6 earthquake in the Kashmir region killed another 80,000 people in early October, leaving 4 million people homeless.

By the time the October disasters were happening, no one cared except those immediately affected by the earthquake. The U.S. (and I would project the world) had grown weary of going from one disaster to another, sending money from this event to that event.

I feel like these earthquakes are going to do much the same. Weariness is going to set in. You can handle only so much disaster before you can no longer give, not longer care. Only so much before it becomes just another tragedy.

And that's the biggest tragedy of all.

Kris and I went over to Andy's tonight for games night. I've been wanting an In-N-Out cheeseburger for a while now, so we stapped by the local store on the way. I have to say that I probably won't go again, having read about beef stories recently. I did, however, enjoy that last cheeseburger more than I probably should have.

So, we pull up to the drive-through window, YET ANOTHER anolomy in my normal behaviour. I hate the waste of sitting in a line with a car engine running. Not only are you sending polutants into the air, you're doing so without any benefit, you're not moving. Hate it.

I turned off the car, and moved as infrequently as possible in the line, to the frustration of both Kris and the drivers behind me.

And I'm okay with that.

So, we pulled up behind the car ordering. I rolled down my window, and was vaguely aware of the guy in front of us ordering two number twos, each of which include a cheeseburger, fries and some drink.

After the order, the person behind the speaker repeated the order. Just after she gave the total, the driver leaned over to his passenger, pausing for a bit, turned back to the speaker and asked, "Can I add a cheeseburger to that order? Just a cheeseburger." The speaker woman answered, "Sure," added the order, then repeated the order to the driver, "So, that's three cheeseburgers, two friends, a coke and a root beer. Your total is" something.

The driver then turned to his passenger, paused for a bit, turned back to the speaker and asked, "Can I add a cheeseburger to that order? Just a cheeseburger."

No, I did not just mistype that.

He proceeded to add items, one at a time, pausing between items, listening to the full order readback, before pausing again, then adding another item.

I believe I could have ordered seven times in the same time that man ordered.

Kris agrees.

Fortunately, the rest of the evening was annoyance-free.