I find it interesting that Chicago O'Hare is attempting to resolve a social problem with a "technical" solution.

Having gotten on the train and off the train, I'm pretty sure their solution wasn't working.

I boarded the train at one end today, to travel to the other end. At the first stop, a whole slew of people boarded the train, forcing me to pull all of my bags close. In a few moments, I was surrounded by a group of six people: five men and one woman (who reminded me of Martha a LOT). I say "men" but I really want to say "boys." They all looked about 19, maaaaaaaaaaaybe 20, but none old enough to drink.

They were all Navy recruits.

Based on their conversation, they were on their way from training to either more training, or deployment.

As I watched, I couldn't help but think they're only kids. They were all so young, all with what should be long lives ahead of them. I nearly wanted to cry. Okay, yes, they're adults, they're allowed to make their own decisions. They have even probably made the best decisions for their own situations. But seeing their faces, hearing their voices, feeling them so close, I couldn't help but feel bitter at the bastards in Washington who thought spending 200 billion dollars on a farce of a war, who thought sending these people off to die so that the rich could get richer, who thought following the village idiot, was a good thing.

Letter #1

Dear Flight Attendant,

In case you didn't realize, whispering to be heard from 3 feet away, at 22000 feet above sea level means you have to speak more loudly than you would in a quiet room. That "confidential" complaining about a fellow passenger? Not as secret as you thought it was.

Sincerely,

The passenger in 21C

Letter #2

Dear Fellow passenger,

That gas you're trying to suppress? Yeah, it's not working. Your ass smells something horiible. Okay, so yes, I'm in the aisle seat. I prefer to sit here so that I can get up and go to the bathroom easily. However, I assure you that I do not mind AT ALL getting up and allowing you access the aisle to use the lavatory.

You know what? I actually ENCOURAGE you to stand up and move out of your seat, down the aisle and into said lavatory. No really. I don't mind.

Go ahead..

The passenger in 21C.

I wonder if it's rude to ask the person next to me if he needs to use the lavatory. I mean, any more rude than farting all the way from Boston to Chicago? It seems this is a recurring theme, so there should be some manners policy on it.

I've been in Boston way too much in the last year. This is visit number five inthe last year and a half, and it's to the point that I can actually find my way around. I can't give directions, nor can I neccesarily find my way home blindfolded as I once did out of Hollywood in college, starting with only an intersection. I do, however, recognize city names. I recognize buildings. I know which direction is North. I can navigate to the airport. I can drive without being flustered.

I have clearly spent too much time in Boston.

Time for a new city.

Checkout time is 12 Noon.

I found this out by reading the posted notice on the back of the room door, which is legally required. Also legally required to be posted are room rates.

Based on the posted notice, we're getting a good deal on the room by paying only $161 a night.

As Wade and I were off on our canolli, gas, rental return adventure, my cell phone rang. Since i was driving, I handed it to him to answer. What I thought was United calling to tell me to check in, since I hadn't immediately checked in afer receiving my email telling tellmin me to check in, turned out to be a call telling me my flight had been cancelled.

Not delayed. Not moved. Not rescheduled, but canocelled.

I cannot think of a more fitting end to this weekend, than to have my flight cancelled.

Unsurprisingly enough, ONLY my flight was cancelled:

The replacement flight United had moved me to had me leaving at 10:30 in the morning, flying down to Washington Dulles, waiting for two hours then flying up to Chicago from there. The kicker? The only seat available was the middle seat of the last row in the plane on both flights.

Uh...

No.

So, I checked for other seats on other flights, using the "I want to buy a ticket option" which displays available seats on flights. I was trying to figure out the first flight that had aisle seats available where I didn't have to spend $40 for the legroom any normal (read: non-cheapskate) airline would provide.

That first flight out was at 2:30 PM. Fine. I called the airline to switch my reservation to switch my flight.

After providing my reservation number and last name, the woman immedately stated I was booked on the 10:30 AM flight to Dulles, and then to Chicoago, was tehre anything I cneeded further help with?

Uh....

Yes?

I didn't want that flight, can I fly out at 2:31 and reserve an aisle seat please. What was wrong with that flight? Well, I wanted a direct flight for one. Ten second later, i was on the 10:35 flight direct to Chicago, was there anything else she could help me with?

What was my seat assignment, I asked. Last row, middle seat.

No, I explained, I want an aisle seat. Oh, you can just check with the gate agent to be switched to an aisle seat when you arrive, she responded.

I was a little dumbfounded. An entire flight was cancelled. Did she really think that there would be aisle seats available suddenly when I arrived at the airprt? Sure, some people decide not to go, but, come on, if there isn't one now, what is the likelihood of one magically happening overnight? I asked her, again, to please book me on the 2:31 flight direct to Chicago, and assign me seat 18C, which I can see right here on line this available for purchase.

After arguing for a few more minutes with teh woman, explaining that I wanted an aisle seat, and not the middle seat , she finally understood, that the 2:31 flight was the first available flight with an aisle seat available, and that yes, she could rebook me on that flight, I didn't mind if I had to wait a bit at the airport, I was going to sleep in until noon anyway.

So she switched me to the flight, but assigned me to 21C.

WTF?

Is this really customer service?

Is 18C not available? I asked.

"You're assigned 21C."

Fine, I thought. Hanging up, going online , checking in, and reassigning myself to the empty seat at 18C. Now, was that really so hard? I wondered. Really?

Openness is a good thing. Allowing your customers to help themselves in booking flights is a great thing. Deliberately lying to a customer who can see the same data you can see is not a great thing. There was no reason not to assign me seat 18C. As near as I can tell, the woman didn't assign me that seat out of spite.

Now, does that make more ore less likely to want to fly this airlines again?