The Relentless Ringing in the Left Ear

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In junior high school and high school, I had what I would consider a healthy fear of dying, but what most rational adults might have called oversized. My fear manifested itself in staying up way too late, mostly out of fear of not waking in the morning. Which meant, unsurprising to none, I was constantly tired from a lack of sleep. Even as a kid, I knew that my fear of dying was a result of not having lived, what with my being a fearful child and all, but that knowledge did not lessen my fear.

Just As Far In As I'll Ever Be Out

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Understood. Right now, I still don't give a fuck about how long I live, but I want to make it not-easy for someone to take my life from me.

But that depression phase, if it did anything positive at all, liberated me from caring about shit, to include whether I live or die.

It may not sound liberating, but it is.

You end up fearing nothing, and then you can do all sorts of shit you would have never thought yourself capable of.

That said, I do not suggest my path to anyone, despite the effectivity. Some people don't walk out the other end of that tunnel.

Not my story.

I nearly wish it were.

MacBook Pro Toolbar with ESC and Function Keys

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It's like Apple knew people who use the command line and keyboards a lot were going to be upset at the loss of the Escape key.

Or something.

Open up System Preferences (upper left of the screen, click on the apple, in the dropdown menu that shows, click the "System Preferences" menu option).

Open up the Keyboard Preferences (type "keyboard" in the upper right search box or click the keyboard icon).

Select "F1, F2, etc. Keys" in the "Touch Bar Shows" option.

Rejoice!

Red Clocks

Book Notes

There are five main female characters in this book, and I identify with four of them. Why did I pick up this book again?

Okay, for reals, this was not an easy book for me to read. The plot has five intertwined plots, a single woman who wants a child, an overachieving teen, a wife/mother in a relationship that isn't working, an arctic explorer/scientist, and a hippie / herbalist / off-the-grid non-conformist. Four of them live in costal Oregon, the explorer is the subject of the single woman's biography.

I do not know how this book ended up on my reading list. I suspect because it is a reasonable Handmaid's Tale-like near-future dystopian where Roe vs. Wade is repealed, and an eight-celled blastocyst is considered a full person in the eyes of the law, making even miscarriages suspect under the law, and women are aware that this near-future dystopian is much, much closer than we want to believe.

As far as I'm concerned, abortion can be illegal when we get the equivalent for men, something where they have no control over their own bodies, are shamed by society, forced to live with the consequences of a strongly personal and highly private decision made public decided by someone else, have to risk their lives, and have their bodies destroyed for the rest of their lives. Which is to say, no, abortion should never be illegal because it isn't your decision, it is the carrying woman's and only the woman's decision. The cells are not a person until they can sustain themselves outside of the womb. This book hits nearly every trigger I can imagine when it comes to women being lesser than men.

Anyway.

This book.

The single woman teacher who wants a kid. Fuck.

The overachiving high school student with all the same arguments I make. Fuck.

The wife / mother in a relationship that isn't working. Fuck.

Cauliflower

Daily Photo

I really need to update my daily-photo code to include srcset and sizes for these images. :\

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