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Hair Talk


"Do you regret cutting off your hair?"

Mom asked me this today, which puzzled me.

I mean, why would I ever regret cutting off my hair?

Maybe because my head is cold because I cut my hair in winter? I wear a hat when I'm cold, and don't when I'm not, same as when I had hair.

Maybe because I'll have some idiot she-devil call me a bald lesbian because I shaved my head? Well, said idiot can fuck off for so many reasons (p.s. don't work with Dana Hasten, she's the idiot who thinks being gay is offensive).

Maybe because I no longer have the hair to play with when I'm thinking? Claire suggested a spinner ring, which I have on a finger now, and they are fun fidget devices, but really, I can rub my head when I'm thinking to the same effect as twirling the long hair.

I couldn't figure it out, so I asked Mom why she asked.

Apparently I was doing just that: rubbing my head on the call.


Well, I said, I recommend shaving your head with a number 2 and feeling the wind on your scalp, the lift of the roots as they grow differently without the weight of the hair, the feel of rubbing gently along the stop of hairs - all wonderful sensations when you have them by choice and not by circumstance.

By choice, I highly recommend it.

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