Weird Sexy Man Hug

Scalzi Story Yeah, kitt finished writing this at 10:28 on 28 June 2013

Wherein I take a band name from Scalzi’s Next Band Name list, and spend no more than 20 minutes writing the story with the band name as a title. Current one is Weird Sexy Man Hug. See also: the full story archive.

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"Okay, now, we're going to practice what I just showed you all. Just stand up, and approach your partner. That's right, just step forward and hold your hand out, turned upward.

"George, a little more vertical and a lot higher up. You're going for the Bro Hug, not a handshake. If your hand is low, you will get a handshake. If your hand is too horizontal, the guys are going to look at you like you're a girl and you want your hand kissed. Do you want your hand kissed? When you're going for the Bro Hug?

"No.

"No, you don't. So more vertical. That's right.

"Okay, step into the hug. Clasp hands, good, turn into it. Yes, like that. Nick, no, into the hug. And don't yank.

"...

"...

"Step back everyone, I'll demonstrate again with Mike here. See how I approach him? Note how this is different than the arms-open-wide stance of the Big Uncle Hug? Right. So, arm bent, almost like we're going to arm wrestle, but WE ARE NOT ARM WRESTLING, GUYS, we are Bro-Hugging. Okay, we take each other's hands, step into each other, touch shoulders. If you'd like, you can pat the other guy on the back of his upper shoulder, but don't force this. See how Mike here became a little uncomfortable when I patted his back too low? You don't want that. Keep it at the lowest intimacy part of the back, the shoulder. And then we step away.

"This is not a torture session, guys. We have a smile through this all. We are inviting the other guy in, he is our brother.

"Well, a brother we like.

"Okay, try again. Step a few steps away, and now approach.

"Much better guys, nicely done. Good work, there, George, good hand placement. I guess that arm wrestling image helped, eh?

"I'm glad. Say, do you guys need a break? We've been going at this for a few ours now, and you are all progressing well. I want to make sure we're not overloading you now.

"No? Okay, we'll push through. Take your seats again.

"We have two hugs left before we summarize all of the hugs, bring out our huggees, you'll do your final test of all the hugs we've learned today, and then class ends.

"These last two hugs are the most intimate hugs, but you need to be careful with them. You don't want to overstep the boundaries of the huggee, regardless of gender, guys. I need to remind you about that, you can be intimate with someone regardless of gender and your hug can be an invitation. Be sure you are meaning to give the invitation and reading the huggee's signals.

"Okay, the last two are the Warm Greeting Hug and the Bear Hug. There are, of course, variations on these hugs, and let me roll my eyes for you with that 'of course' I just said, because I will keep saying there are always variations on these hugs. We'll go over the variations of these a bit.

"First, you need to know what your intentions are with the huggee, and have a best guess on what the huggee's intentions are. Sometimes you are offering comfort, sometimes you are merely saying hello or good bye. The Bear Hug is a good, friendly greeting hug.

"To do this, you open your arms wide, go on, everyone do this. Right, wide, smile big, you're happy to see your friend. Great! Now step in and wrap your arms all around the huggee. If you are taller, you go on the top. If you are shorter, expect to go under. If you are similar heights, you will lift your right arm a bit and drop your left arm a bit to signal the more complicated cross hug.

"Next, you step into each other, as Mike and I are doing, wrap your arms around the other person and squeeze WITHOUT OVERSQUEEZING. You are not trying to choke out the huggee. Keep your hands up and let your body feel what the huggee is doing. If the huggee squeezes gently and releases, that is your signal that the hug is over. You will give one more gentle squeeze and break the hug.

"Got that?

"Good. Let's practice this. Everyone stand up. Arms wide, that's good. Jeff, we're not stretching here, don't overdo it.

"Now step forward. Remember to smile guys. Good.

"Remember, if the huggee wants the hug to continue, you will allow it to continue. If the huggee indicates done, either by pulling back or with a quick tighter hug, you will let it go. Hugging beyond the signal turns the Bear Hug into the Weird Sexy Man Hug, and YOU DO NOT WANT THIS.

"Got that? You do not want that.

"Mike, let go now."

Define Yourself

Blog kitt decided around 11:42 on 22 June 2013 to publish this:

I'm not really sure that going to XOXO Fest this year is in my financial best interest, but I'm really not able to resist the amazing conference, the awesome city, and the opportunity to hang with incredible friends. I'm heading to XOXO again this year.

EXCITED!

This sums up my life right now

Blog kitt decided around 11:44 on 19 June 2013 to publish this:

This pretty much sums up my life right now:

I really like my Mom's decorating style. It's fun and quirky, yet clean and simple. I'm sure some of my style is from hers, but it's a pale comparison to the magnificence of her style.

Her bathroom has a number of eclectic items in it: small items found or rediscovered, each with a small story, none the same and all fitting together. A marble from the walk along the canal, a tiny charm found at the park, blue glass from beach in Hawaii, white glass from the beach on one of the Cook Islands, a Lego dude from one of the grandkids, and (previously) a small frog that decided to stow away in the daughter's bag for a different adventure: all of these fit together, though none of them match.

One of the items in her bathroom was a yellow and green Cotillion china dish. I don't know how old it is, but I've always loved it. Mom had her soap in it. When I mentioned that I liked it, she pulled the soap out of it, rinsed it off and handed it to me. I've had it for years. It's one of my comfort items. It reminds me of my mom every day, when I reach for the soap in the bathroom, just as my mom had it in her bathroom.

It went to the apartment with me, and has come back to the house with me. I had it on my desk, close to me, holding my cup of tea.

Today, as I lifted my cup of tea, the dish stuck to the bottom of of the cup.

When I had the cup two centimeters off the desk, the dish released and fell.

And cracked.

I sat there looking at my now broken dish from Mom and thought, "Yep, that's about right."

It sums up my life perfectly right now: been around for a while; broken and still beautiful; reparable and now a bit more fragile along that one point; never the same again.

I'm adding it to the pile of things to repair with superglue. I kinda wish my life could be repaired as easily.

The feel of childhood

Blog kitt decided around 12:12 on 18 June 2013 to publish this:

My mom and dad were married two years before I was born. One of the wedding gifts they received was a blue blanket. That blue blanket became my blanket some time when I was very young. I remember that blanket being on my bed at every house we had when I was a kid. It was a fort wall, a curtain, a source of warmth and a hideaway. That blanket stayed with me in Indiana when half my family drove away, and came with me when I followed them six months later. It went with me to college, and was with me afterward from apartment to apartment, job to job, Southern to Northern California.

It went into the closet a decade or so ago, an auxiliary blanket maybe for the dog if she needed one (she didn't) or a guest on a cold night. It came out maybe once before being moved to the garage, and eventually found again five years ago. I washed it and put it in the guest room dresser, one of several blankets available should a guest need it.

While putting away the guest room sheets last night, I found the blanket tucked in the dresser drawer.

I pulled it out and put it, still folded, on the bed.

Later, after I undressed for bed, I wrapped the blanket around me, climbed into bed, and with the feel of childhood along my skin, slept soundly for the first time in many months.

Huh.

Blog Yeah, kitt finished writing this at 11:13 on 7 June 2013

Not very effective, I would say.

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