"That's where she's going, too!"

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On the way back to San Jose today, I, unsurprisingly, opted out of the people x-ray machine. While I was frustrated that the agent manning the baggage scanner pushed my items into the luggage x-ray machine after I said I was opting out, thereby not only taking my items from me, but also preventing me from objecting, I was less frustrated when the pat-down woman arrived and walked me between the x-ray machine and the metal detector to claim my bags before they had run through the machine.

The pat-down woman was very friendly, chatting amiably, as my two bags and three bins were collected. She and another woman tried to walk away before my backpack and its contraband deck of to-do cards had made their joy-run back through the x-ray machine, but I refused to move until all of my bags were together. Didn't help though, as the other TSA woman thought it was okay to place my computers in a full-access bin 15 feet away from me and out of my sight.

Unrelated to my forthcoming rant here, I would REALLY like if the TSA would stop fucking taking my belongings away from me and putting them in an easy-to-steal location outside of my view. Their continued disregard of travellers' possessions is incredibly frustrating.

As is their protection of travellers' personal information.

Or rather, lack of protection of travellers' personal information. Ah, here's the forthcoming rant.

My pat-down woman was, as mentioned, chatty. I have to admit that her willingness to talk about her day and her Thanksgiving festivities, as well as her general cheerfulness, allowed me to let down my guard. I told her about my holiday week, visiting with the parents, and where I was flying. It was a brilliant bit of customer service and social maneuvering, actually, as I didn't mind most of the pat-down, which was rougher than normal, but still remarkably ineffective for what it was attempting to accomplish.

After she was done (SHOCK! No residue on my clothes!), she went off to get the next woman who wisely declined the cancer machines. As I was standing in the spot putting my computers into my bag, tying my shoelaces, putting on my three layers of clothes, marvelling at just how amazingly stinky I was for having not showered in two days, the pat-down woman returned with the next opt-out.

"And where are you going today?" pat-down woman asked.

"I'm going to San Jose," was the response.

"Oh, that's where she's going, too!" pat-down woman continued cheerfully, pointing at me.

I turned, stunned, to look at this woman.

Okay, yes, I'm in a public place.

Okay, yes, when I'm standing in line to board a plane, it is obvious where I am going. Sorta. The plane I was on was going to San Jose, Portland and some place in Idaho, so you don't *really* know where I'm going.

Okay, yes, I volunteered that information willingly.

I don't, however, believe that having a TSA agent announce my destination or hand out personal information to other passengers is okay.

Without looking up to confirm it (and I probably should look it up), my understanding is that lying to a government official, even in something completely innocuous, carries up to a $20,000 fine. So, when the TSA agent casually asks, "Where are you going?" and you answer, Seattle when you're really going to Kansas City, if he's in a pissy mood and can prove the falsehood, there's a potentially hefty fine.

On the other hand, handing out personal information seems much worse.

Consider the completely fabricated case of a woman with an unusual name flying out of an airport as she is fleeing an abusive relationship. The TSA agent comments offhandedly, "Oh, there was someone with that name through here just a short bit ago, she's going to Atlanta," to the next person with the same unusual name. And now the area she's moving to is no longer as safe as it might have been.

Yeah, completely fabricated, I know. It isn't, however, the TSA agent's place to share that information, no matter how innocent. If she's sharing where I'm flying, how do I know she's not letting everyone know how firm my breasts are. She certainly rubbed them hard enough to know.

I think the next time I'm heading through, I'll be less likely to let down my guard with the pat-down woman. My answer to most questions is most likely now going to be, "Am I legally required to answer?" followed by a "Will you refuse my boarding if I decline to answer?"

When pressed, I'll probably have to answer, "Religious reasons."

Brooklyn Beta Day 1

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Well, phooey, this turned out longer than I had intended it to be.

Having been to Brooklyn Beta for the last two years, I have to say, I was incredibly excited to be heading back here this year.

Each year has been fantastic, but this year promised to amazing for me: the emotional turmoil of previous years is absent; I knew a number of people at the conference from previous years and am very excited to see them; I have coworkers attending the conference whom I am very excited to spend time with in a non-work setting; and I have the new job that I'm both excited to have and excited to talk about. "Finally!" I thought, "a Brooklyn Beta that was going to be as emotionally satisfying as intellectually satisfying!"

Couldn't wait.

The format of Brooklyn Beta is nominally speaker, social, speaker or two, social, speaker or two or something else interesting, social, repeat any two of those. The social parts are just as important as the speakers, because everyone there has something to say, something to give, something to share. Every person there has overcome her or his struggles, every person there has made something great, every person there is inspirational.

Knowing this coming in, even with that anticipation coming in, day one did not disappoint me.

Right from the start, Aaron Draplin came out swinging. I had seen Aaron at XOXO fest last month in Portland, and was a little confused. I had, unfortunately, been confused about what he did, and had stupidly mentally pigeon-holed into what he wasn't, based on my own historical prejudices. I'm an idiot sometimes, and that was but the latest time, because, wow, Aaron is a great speaker and have you seen his work? I have to wonder if he happens to love blowing up prejudices and stereotypes.

He started his talk with reasons why he shouldn't be speaking...

01. I shouldn't be up here
02. Have no credentials
03. No professional accolades
04. Have never won an award
05. Don't have a book to sell (yet)
06. Usually don't wear pants.

... then proceeded to show us all just why, yes, he was the perfect speaker to kick off Brooklyn Beta. Talk about setting the bar high! Aaron set the tone, telling us to do what you love, help friends, follow your own path, and when Farmer John calls, answer the damn phone.

Oh, and Futura Bold FTW!

The social parts around the speakers were incredible. The first day, I hugged and talked and laughed with Jonathan (of course! need to list him first!), Nate Abele, Josh King, Paul Reinheimer, Allison Moore, Sean Coates, Nick Sloan, Kyle Neath, Nick Disabato, Cennydd Bowles (who works at Twitter, too!), Cassie McDaniel (wrote in Distance Issue 02), Tracy Osborne, Lachlan Hardy (yay portraits!), Samanta Warren (yay, coworker!), Alex Giron (yay, another coworker), Marty Ringlein (and another coworker!), Marco Suarez (by including him in our conversation as he walked by), Chris Casciano, Cameron Moll, Josh Brewer (who sits like 30 feet from me, yay coworker!), Yaron Schoen (coworker, though amusingly enough, Jonathan introduced me to him), David Kaneda, Shaun Inman, Leslie Jensen-Inman, Terry Chay, Marie Williams (yay, lives close, never see her!), Jess (whose last name I never caught, but she's with Ian Coyle), Ian Coyle, Tina Roth Eisenberg, Jonathan Lu (yay @jonnygotham), Jenni Schwartz, Ed Finkler, Daniel Weinard, Greg Beldam and that was just on the first day!

Well, sorta.

That list is of the people I actually wrote down that I chatted with. See, that's the thing, I wrote down *a* list of people I talked with, and I'm sure I didn't manage to write down everyone I talked with. I chatted with a number of people in the lunch and dinner lines. I met another couple dozen people, at least. Everywhere I looked, there were all these amazing people around whom I had to look off, just to talk with these people. That's okay, it's just day one: I figure I have two more days!

Other speakers of the day (and not in the order they actually presented) included Alex Payne, whose talk I missed a large portion of. He worked for Simple, the new bank that doesn't suck, but, oddly enough still works in the parameters of the existing banking system. I wish I had caught more of his talk. More than just a picture.

Ben Pieratt, former CEO of Svpply, a site that allows window shopping of fine goods, talked about his lessons learned: three hard, three good, about the building of Svpply, running it, the mistakes he made, and what he took from the experience. It was hard to listen to Ben sometimes, not just because he was choked up a couple times during the talk, but also because it was clear he was still coming to terms with the mistakes he made. I wonder if, on some level, his talking at Brooklyn Beta was a way for him to accept the successes and failures of his time at Svpply, recently sold to eBay.

Ben's story was especially telling, in that he demoed Svpply at the first Brooklyn Beta, so it was almost a story come full circle.

I find it interesting to list his six lessons learned, because, without the emotion behind them, without the cracking of his voice, they don't have the same impact, they aren't as strong.

His lessons (with my commentary) shared were:

01. HARD: Pursuing scale (growing big) clouds the mind.
02. HARD: Business is talk, and businessmen are professional talkers (or, talk is cheap).
03. HARD: I'm capable of ruining a company that I love (best know thyself well).
04. GOOD: Hire for culture
05. GOOD: My designs are capable of disrupting a billion dollar industry (by which you can infer, so are yours).
06. GOOD: People are the medium

Too soon to see a pattern emerge from the speakers, but everyone was definitely talking from the heart about the lessons learned on their journeys.

After lunch, the third session of the day was Seth Godin. I'm a fan of Seth's work, I enjoy reading his blog, which are short but relevant (to his day, and delightfully for the rest of the world usually at the same time) posts. Easy to read, but thought and introspection provoking.

Seth talked about how we don't truly have a Capitalist society any longer. We have an Industrialist society. Capitalism is the process of taking funds to purchase capital (machines to make creating a product easier, such as a pin making machine which changed the process from a hand-crafted 5 pins a day, to a machine-made, no-schooling-really-required 10000 pins a day process), and making money from the capital (all the money going to the pin machine owner).

So, Capitalism isn't really about risk, or invention, it's about moving money to build an asset to increase productivity. Industrialism, which is where we are now, is polishing the process of Captialism to make it even more productive. Companies get their employees to do more, with less, to make the owners more money.

An example of this Industrialism in marketing would be the 16 ounce soda that is too small for the modern American was THREE servings in 1950s. The work of Industrialists.

Another outcome of Industrialism is public schools, formerly known as common school, where the goal is to teach all of us to follow instructions, sit still, learn lessons, follow instructions, graduate, get a job, follow instructions, work for twelve hours, go home, buy shit. The system is all about compliance.

And it was working until recently. A revolution is coming.

Consider the music industry in 1974: it was perfect. "If I wanted to listen to music, I had to buy a record. If I loaned the record to a friend, and I wanted to listen to it, I needed to drive to a record store, with the radio (whose airwaves belong to all of us) playing songs the music industry produced. I would have the options of buying music the music industry produced. It was a oligarchy which controlled the whole process and kept all the money."

Boom.

Revolutions destroy the perfect and enable the impossible.

Today, there are more people listening to more music by more artists these days than ever before, and the music industry is dead. Destroy the life of the Industrialist and enable the impossible.

The people who are succeeding now aren't the ones who yell the loudest. The ones who are succeeding are the ones who connect. The only thing the internet is good for, the only thing the internet has ever been good for, is the ability for one person to say what he is interested in. People don't connect over boring stuff, or uninteresting. They connect over interesting things.

So, Capitalism. Industrialism. The next step, the revolution is Art.

Art is the story. And story is the only thing we are willing to connect over.

Art is seeking to do something original, to be able to say, "Here I made this." We are by nature, under pressure to conform. Evolution gives us the mindset to do what other people are doing. And this might not work. You're (where "you" was referring to those of us in the audience) more of an artist.

Of note, Seth commented that, "You are not an artist if you know it's going to work. If all you're doing is following the instructions, you're not a maker, you're free labor doing assembly work. If you don't know it'll work, you're a maker."

I was also delighted that Seth commented that he would rather "Make something that matters, instead of just something you love." Making something you love is a great hobby, but making something that matters is better. If all you're doing is gaining skills, you're hiding. If you're going to fail over and over and over again, you'll refine your art, you'll do something more, you'll make better art, and your story will get better. "If it doesn't work, make better art," was his more succinct way of putting it. Make better art until someone else says, this matters to me, too. You'll be criticized and ignored, which is what makes it art. Keep connecting.

Seth then moved to the practical and told us that, in order to keep making art, you pretty much have to sell your art. But how do you sell your art? You need to tell your your story. People don't buy your work, they buy your story.

And you can't yell about it, you can't make people listen. There is too much clutter of people yelling. Whisper to people who want to hear from you. Don't yell at people who are trying to avoid hearing you. Whisper to three people a day who want to hear what you have to say. Three people a day is 1000 people a year, it's 5000 people in five years, and at that point, you don't have to shout to be heard. You can whisper.

Seth also talked about building a tribe, people who are all interested in the same thing, all in sync. A tribe has a culture, its words, its dress. A tribe is people all trying to get to the same place. And tribes need a leader (so don't wait for someone to ask for permission to be the leader, if that's you, go lead).

As with Ben's talk, Seth's words were powerful in their delivery. And as Seth said, it's about his story. It was my first time seeing Seth speak in person, and really, I have to say, at this point in the conference, wow, I'm stunned. Everything after this point is icing on the Brooklyn Beta cake.

Over lunch, I had asked Kyle Neath how his public speaking was going. I had first heard about him a couple years ago when he expressed an interest in public speaking on a mailing list I'm on: he was wanting to do more and looking at different venues and conferences, noting that most conferences wanted people who already did public speaking, so it was a chicken and the egg problem.

At lunch, Kyle said something to the effect of, "Eh, it's going okay." A couple hours later, however, I had to laugh when Kyle stepped up to talk about Github and its development culture.

Kyle talked about building cosmic solutions, design amazing software, and dogfooding by using Github to build Github. He discussed how Github would hire slowly and consistently: hiring the best technically, socially, and culture-ly, enabling everyone to build a company he wants to work at for the rest of his life. He also talked about Github's internal intent to "optimize for happiness" with a culture free of managers, deadlines, core hours, mandatory meetings and top down plans. The sales department doesn't promise features, but encourages prospective clients to view what exists and see if it'll work for them.

The company also favors leadership over management, where leaders convince other coworkers to work on projects, over telling people work on this. There is buy-in from individuals and small groups, so everyone is working on what they want to work on. When you're working on what you want to work on, you're less concerned about hours, you're excited for your work, and more likely to do great work.

Other take-aways included:

01. Allow people to pay you money
02. Favor tangible work over meetings.
03. Build new tools over using shitty existing ones.
04. Having a company-wide Ideas file
05. Remote by default
06. Use open-source mentality in business, not just code
07. Be nice.  Create a better world.

Much of Kyle's talk was "this is what we have, isn't it cool?" which makes me wonder how it could be replicated. Hiring slowly certainly helps identify people who fit in with the culture established early by the founders and early employees. There is, however, a strong element of "empowering the employee to take personal responsibility to do good work" and not having it be lip-service or bullshit words. That's hard. That's really hard. Peer pressure and "This is how we work" would help keep the culture going, but one or two bad hires could hamper progress (unless, of course, you hire slowly and fire quickly if the fit is bad, Kyle didn't address that aspect of things).

Seriously need to think about this more. Initially, I was somewhat dismissive of Kyle's talk's theme, with the take-away that one can create a happy work environment even in a big company, and questioning how one could actually replicate the Github culture; but, now I'm not so sure. It would be possible, but it would take a serious shift in thinking, or, maybe as Seth says, a Revolution.

After dinner, we had Rockband and dance instruction, with I don't know how many people rhetorically asking, "How awesome is this? A conference that closes the day with dance instruction?"

I was curious how Rockband was going to work, with the size of the conference, and the answer is that it worked really well. Not everyone wanted to play, there were enough people willing to brave singing that we had a singer every song, the songs provided background music for the room, and, for the really good songs, it seemed the whole room was singing along with the songs.

The dance lesson was a lot of fun. It lasted all of thirty minutes, including our "show", We learned a routine as a whole, then divided into groups and learned the choreography. After twenty minutes, we performed it. It was awesome. I was so happy to be moving and moving in a group.

And seriously, people, if you want to do dance with a group, you can't do much better than having Dave DeSandro or Jessi Arrington in your dance groups.

So, today's Brooklyn Beta?

Amazing.

Lots to think about. Lots to ponder. Lots to do. Not sure I'll sleep tonight.

Missed so many

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I kinda want to go through the list of everyone who signed up for Brooklyn Beta, including Beyond Beta, and see who I missed, who I didn't talk with, and reach out to talk to them independently of Brooklyn Beta: say hello, use the Brooklyn Beta as an opening, follow them on Twitter, check out their websites, see what's new. I suspect I'm one of the few people who pretend to keep up a blog, or, well, actually have plans for refreshing my site with daily projects.

If I contacted three people a day, it would take me until Brooklyn Beta next year to contact everyone.

Maybe an aggregator would be easier.

New job, day 66

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Okay, yes, I have been keeping notes for every day at the new job. Today was day 66.

I have to say that, for a company that employs such an astonishingly large number of smart people, we have our share of, um, well, dumb ones, too.*

Fine: clueless, careless, pick a word that isn't "dumb" if you are unable to read "dumb" in the light-hearted teasing it was said in.

Crush

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So, there's this guy at work whom I have a crush on. I want to say "crush" is the wrong word, but it's sufficiently light-hearted enough that it works perfectly to describe my emotions towards him. Which is to say, I simultaneously want to meet this person and don't ever want to meet this person.

Oh, didn't mention that part?

Yeah, I haven't met him, haven't said hello to him, haven't sent an email to him, haven't been in a meeting with him, haven't had any interaction but a small smile today. I am fairly certain he has no idea who I am, and I am not only okay with that, I also have every intention of keeping it that way.

See, this crush scares me. It scares me because this guy's personal representative is, as near as I can tell, pretty much everything I wanted to be, a physical manifestation of my idealized self.

In reading about his adventures, in seeing his works, in watching his talks, in noticing him interacting with his coworkers, you can see what drives him, what inspires him. You can see he works to make the world a better place with an idealized definition of "better" that nearly hurts in both its purity and its impossibility.

And my curiosity of him has caused me to reflect more and more about myself. To finally begin questioning what drives me, what inspires me, what motivates me. I've started looking at my goals, my choices, my decisions. I dug up and dusted off the buried rationalizations I've made for the things I've done, brought them out to the light of day and actually looked at them.

Looked at them and come to the conclusion that, against the measuring stick of my idealized self, I pretty much suck.

And this is why the crush scares me: because it is so much easier to be lost in the deep black hole of depression than it is to reflect honestly on your life and realize that the person you disappointed the most is yourself. That the years of self-hatred weren't because you were actually incapable of being a better person, but because you never moved beyond being that small frail child who craved love and acceptance. That it's okay to work towards an idealized version of the world: even if it is unachievable, even if you fail, the effort moves the world just a smidge that much closer to it, and that smidge can still be worth it.

Without having met him, without having said a single word to this person, he has inspired me to be a better person.

Problem is, I can't tell if my desire not to meet him is a fear of losing my idealized version of him (because let's face it, reality is dirty, and no one is perfect), or the fear of looking deeper and, instead of finding the strength to become a better person, giving up on myself.

Because, well, I really want to meet him and ask him a billion questions.

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