"The glue here has started to come off."

"You can peel them off. They need to be on only five to seven days."

"Oh! That's great!"

“When you do peel them off, put lotion on the incisions, to reduce the scars.”

“Why would I want to reduce the scars?”

“Uh... Most people do.”

“Knife fight with a robot!  Scars are cool!”

“You are a rare one!”

Went to follow up with surgeon today. This was supposed to be my only follow up appointment, but, well, interesting things happen in this body, let me tell you.

I was able to walk more easily than my previous appointment. My surgeon noticed and said he'd like to postpone the steroid shot until at least three weeks, if not six weeks out. I shouldn't have healed as fast as I did from the previous visit last Wednesday, but the progress is good. I suggested that I might have needed to know that I wasn't damaging myself by moving, it just f---ing hurt, and with that permission, I'm moving around more, helping things out. He agreed that moving and stretching are good, and more than just my forward-back stretches, include some side stretches.

After leaving, I was able to walk (carefully!) down the stairs, too! Whoo!

I was looking forward to the steroids, but what's good, what's bad, who knows. It'll be fine. I can't take big steps, I can't move quickly, and I cannot do pushups (yes, I tried, managed to hand walk out one two steps before "no no no no AHHHHHHHH" happened and I collapsed, so definitely no pushups yet), but I can walk somewhat. And I can mostly dress myself without screaming in pain.

To which we say, "Victoire!"

As for the scars on my stomach, there are so many things in this world to be worried about, scars on my stomach are so way not one of them. Chicks dig scars.

"Do you regret cutting off your hair?"

Mom asked me this today, which puzzled me.

I mean, why would I ever regret cutting off my hair?

Maybe because my head is cold because I cut my hair in winter? I wear a hat when I'm cold, and don't when I'm not, same as when I had hair.

Maybe because I no longer have the hair to play with when I'm thinking? Claire suggested a spinner ring, which I have on a finger now, and they are fun fidget devices, but really, I can rub my head when I'm thinking to the same effect as twirling the long hair.

I couldn't figure it out, so I asked Mom why she asked.

Apparently I was doing just that: rubbing my head on the call.

Ah.

Well, I said, I recommend shaving your head with a number 2 and feeling the wind on your scalp, the lift of the roots as they grow differently without the weight of the hair, the feel of rubbing gently along the stop of hairs - all wonderful sensations when you have them by choice and not by circumstance.

By choice, I highly recommend it.

Yuuuuuuuuup, not normal.

Went to see the surgeon today about these pains. Turns out, the pain is centralized where my internal suture is, indicating the suture is likely irritating a nerve ending. I have radiating shocks when I lift my leg, and these shocks support the hypothesis that the suture is firing this nerve.

As a temporary fix, my surgeon injected my leg with numbing stuff, which should last the day. He said go for a walk while the pain is low, it'll come back.

I can look forward to steroids around the suture/nerve next week. Given how much the steroids (corticosteroids, not anabolic steroids) helped Chase (he was doing pony twirls the first few days on them!), I am looking forward to them. Steroids aren't typically given before two weeks of recovery, so that the body has a chance to heal on its own. I'll have some earlier than two weeks, but close enough to the two week mark that the doctor is okay with administering them at my follow up.

Upside, my incisions look great! They are healing well. The doctor said that most people complain about the incision points for pain. I mentioned they don't hurt at all, and learned that a body will typically focus its attention on the worst pain, ignoring lesser pains until the worst one is resolved. Which is to say, yes, my incisions ache at level 1-2, I just don't notice them over the suture/nerve pains of 7-8.

The suture should dissolve in like six weeks, so this pain should also resolve in that time frame, reducing along the way.

Here's hoping for pony twirls!

Unsurprisingly, when you stop doing something, you lose the ability to do it. Use it or lose it, that sort of thing. Writing has definitely become that for me.

I've been in great pain for the last five days, to the point where Kris said, no, these pains are not normal. I figure he knows a thing or two about surgeries and recoveries, but this is my first time, maybe this is normal. "You're in a lot of pain," (yep) "call your medical team." I don't know this isn't normal. "Doesn't matter, you're in a lot of pain, and it's been a bit. Call your medical team."

Here's the thing about telling someone in a lot of pain to call their medical team: they don't know what that means, they are in pain.

I did the best thing I could do. I asked Jonathan what to do. "Tell them you’re in a lot of pain. They’ll tell you if that’s expected. Maybe you’ll need to come in and they can examine. Or maybe they’ll tell you it’s nothing." I called the number on the post-op instructions and used those words. I'm grateful for those words.

Turns out, the pain isn't normal and I have an appointment for tomorrow with the surgeon.

Here's hoping for some relief soon.