Since we've been working out at Velocity Sports, the lactic acid has been building up in our legs, arms, everywhere. The two of of have been hobbling around the house, ow ow owing as we sat down, stood up, moved.

Last Friday night, I couldn't stand the soreness anymore, which is unusual, because I like the soreness as a general rule, and decided to take an epsom salt bath. A nice hot bath.

Kris came in and said, no, no, I shouldn't be taking a hot shower and hot bath, I should be taking an ice bath. Greg Wolff would swim in the ocean after a day of tournament play. Half of the men on Mischief took turns trying to sit in a bathtub full of ice and water at both Regionals and Nationals this year. Watching them sit, or rather, try to sit, in the ice water is worth the laughter it inspires in observers.

So, when I was done with my bath on Friday night, Kris decided to join the ice cube club and sit in an ice water bathtub. I left the bathroom when he was drawing the water. Because the nights have been so cold around here (below 32°F, as plants have been dying of frost), he didn't need to add any ice to the bath, the cold water from the tap was sufficiently cold to chill muscles.

Five minutes after I left the bathroom, I heard cries of "Cold! Cold! Ahhhhhhh! Cold!" After a few minutes of this, I walked into the bathroom. Kris had managed to get all of two feet and one hand into the tub. Apparently, he wasn't able to get farther than those three body parts without putting the family jewels into the water... and that was too painful.

I started teasing him, cajoling him into getting into the water. "Come on! How cold can it be? Just sit down. Sit down already. Just go right in. Come on! Even I could just sit down."

He wouldn't sit down.

"Fine! You sit down!" he finally said, and hopped out of the tub.

In I jumped, and sat down. It was cold. Cold, cold, cold. Did I mention cold? Yeah, it was cold. Certainly not freezing, but cold. It didn't take long for the water to hurt.

I jumped out, and said, "There. You go."

He tried again, and was barely able to sit down. "If my wife can do it, I can do it." I wonder if I can convince him of that for childbirth, too.

My legs hurt for a couple hours after that. Lingering ice pain. For which Kris heckled me right back for.

Sick.

I blame Mirabelle, who sneezed on me after catching a cold from her dad.

Mmmmmmmm, New Zealand colds and flus. They're the best!

Of all the days to forget my camera when heading out, today was not the day.

Normally, I'll take my cell phone, my other cell phone, my camera, my wallet, and my index cards at a minimum. If I can, I'll take my computer and iPod, too, all tucked nicely in my backpack.

Today, however, we were going "shopping," in particular, to purchase the Christmas tree we selected yesterday, so I'd try the minimum (my wallet) and hope I didn't come up with a brilliant idea I had no way of writing down to remember.

Well, rather than having a brilliant idea to write down, I saw THE most hideous chairs on the back of a truck driving just in front of us. I stared at the chairs, mesmerized at just how ugly they were, and commented, "Of all the days to forget my camera."

Without missing a beat, Kris responded, "What? For those chairs?" Yes! "You can just write about them, can't you?"

"Do you really think I could describe them well enough to convey their true ugliness?"

"Those chairs? Mmmmmmmm, no."

So, they were UG-GLEE.

After this conversation, Kris turned the corner into slowed traffic. As we approached, we saw an SUV up on the curb, in the ivy. It was parked rather strangely, and only after passing it and looking back did I realized it was a single vehicle accident where the truck had gone over the curb and plowed straight into the suspension/bracing cables that kept a high voltage power line tower upgright. The dent in the front of the truck was spectacular in its depth and narrowness.

Kris began laughing at the lamenting I started. Why, oh, why had I forgotten my camera today?

At least the Christmas tree we selected was still available. Whoo!

I don't like crowds. Everyone close to me knows this fact, knows that groups of about 40 is my limit, knows that I'd rather "gouge my eyes out with hot forks of displeasure" than fight the good cheer of the shopping crowds around Christmas time.

So, when Kris asked me to run errands with him today, errands that included shopping, I carefully weighed the joy of spending a rare day with Kris against the value of the four months of my soon-to-be shortened life that I'd lose from the stress of crowds, and answered, "Sure!"

I made it to Starbucks before the thought of the impending crowds made me ball up into a classic defensive pose and wish I were anywhere but in the car driving to the mall.

Kris must have sensed the "Everyone, why are you not home sloth-like watching television? Why must you all be on the streets right now?" vibes eminating from my body, because around that moment, he gave me the most beautiful, the most joyous, the happiest gift he has given me in the last year:

He followed my driving directions, and turned left when I suggested it.

He hasn't done that since 2004.

Every year, each the adults on my mom's side of the family puts his name in the proverbial hat, and draws out a name. Instead of giving 11 gifts, one to everyone in this family, and spending several hundreds of dollars on gifts, each of us buys one gift for the name we pulled out of the hat, spending around $20 on said gift.

The kids, of course, get any number of gifts, because, well, how do you tell a grandparent or auntie she can't buy lots of gifts for the (not-so) little ones? (Hint: you can't.)

The problem with gifts, however, finding a good one for your recipient. Getting someone a gift he wants is always good, but one that fits in with my ideals is good, too: something that is used or used up, instead of something that sits on a shelf, never looked at or used.

So, Seekrit Santa, to make your life easier, here's what I want for Christmas this year, mostly under $20:

• Balloon or flat whisk (not french)
• Olive oil from Sciabica's
• scone mixes (blueberry, cranberry-orange, lemon-blueberry)
• iTunes gift card (check!)
• Update: Chuck calendar

So, there you go, Seekrit Santa. I'll use any of these gives. Thanks, Santa!