Pinwheel Nostrils

Scalzi Story

Wherein I take a band name from Scalzi’s Next Band Name list, and spend no more than 20 minutes writing the story with the band name as a title. Current one is Pinwheel Nostrils.

[This one might make more sense if you read Vermin Tornadoes first.]
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Dora watched Jakob as he closed the door to the Outside, before walking over to the small portal and peering outside. It was somewhat dark, but the courtyard overheads provided sufficient light for him to see the vermins as they danced around, looking for rocks to pick up in their winds and throw. When Jakob was about half way to the other side, she turned away.

Three girls came wandering out of the small theatre on the side of the museum. They'd been watching the flats of the Founding. Dora watched them walk around the corner, giggling and hooting as they wandered away from theatre doors. Dora's expression appeared puzzled. After a few moments, she walked over to the theatre herself, reached in and turned off the lights. With motions practiced over many months, Dora turned off a number of other devices, and the theatre was completely dark.

With the three girls gone, the museum was empty. It was also near enough to closing that Dora could leave without violating any of the Company's rules. She closed up the front, did a quick walk through the rest of the exhibits, and gathered her belongings from under the counter. As she walked towards the front exit, she looked at the door Jakob had gone through a short while ago. She hadn't gone Outside in years. Her walk slowed. She continued to look at the door. She stopped.

After a minute, she shook her head, turned to the exit, popped her rebreathers into her nose, and opened the museum's front door. Dora slung her bag over her shoulder and stepped out. The door swung shut behind her, locking automatically with a small beep.

The air was as stale as it normally was. Dora's footsteps down the tunnel were muffled by the soft texture on the metal walls. The lights overhead were lower than normal. Dora was looking up at them when she heard the giggles coming from the junction to her right.

Without stopping, Dora looked down, pulled her bag around to her front, and walked a little faster.

"Hey, Pinwheel!" The call carried down the short hall. Dora didn't turn.

"We're talking to you!" Another girl's voice called after the first. Dora kept walking.

"Pinwheel Nostrils! We are talking to you!" A third girl's voice called down.

Dora's rebreathers were old. They made the little whirring noise the older models did. They were old, somewhat noticable, completely functional, and very, very valuable. Her mother used them. Her mother's father had used them. They worked better than any modern rebreather did, especially in the stale tunnel air where no breeze blew. Dora inhaled Earth's outdoors, when others inhaled Vayu's indoors. She walked faster until she broke into a slight jog.

Footsteps behind her became loud.

Dora started running faster. The door at the end of the tunnel led to the Commons, which had merchants and crowds. Safety in numbers, the Company's slogans chimed. Never go Outside alone. Stick with your buddy. Safety in numbers. Dora was near a sprint when the footsteps sounded loudly behind her.

She wasn't going to reach the door and open it before the girls reached her. The door opened towards her, they would surely catch her.

She opened her mouth. A hand reached towards her bag.

The door hissed.

Dora's eyes went wide as her arms pumped wildly by her sides, her legs moving her as fast as she could make them.

The door opened.

Jakob stood in the door. He looked up, and stepped aside just as Dora flew into the Commons.

The three girls behind Dora stopped quickly. Jakob turned to look at them. They didn't go through the door. They turned and walked back down the tunnel.

Jakob turned to look at Dora, bent over, breathing heavy.

"So, uh, maybe Outside next time?" he asked.

"Yes," Dora breathed.

Assumptions challenged

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As a kid, I had some pretty strange notions about what being an adult was like.

When I was 11 or so, I came across my mom crying on the bottom of the staircase she had just fallen down, and asked her why she was crying. After she told me, I let her know she wasn't supposed to be crying. Surprised, she asked why not. "Adults don't cry."

Oh, little Kitty (for then, I was still Kitty and not the delightful Kitt you know and love today), if only you knew just how wrong you were by that thought.

And, yet, these days, I find myself in continual surprise at having nearly all of my assumptions about other people constantly challenged.

For some reason, I assume anyone who works in my industry knows more than I do about *pick any topic THEY KNOW MORE THAN I DO.* And this just isn't the case. That PHP developer I admire doesn't know crap about CSS or even where to begin styling a page. That Web Entrepreneur™ couldn't set up a server if his life depended on it. That project manager, oh, well, him. We all know he doesn't know shit. He demonstrates that every time he opens his mouth, just listen to him. No, not that PM. That one's good. He listens. The other one.

And I assume any woman older than I am cooks an amazing meal EACH AND EVERY TIME. I mean, come on, did my mom ever mess up a meal? Of course not. (Of course she did. She's human last I checked.) I know how to cook, I do a great job at baking. I love baking. So, of course, every other person in the world enjoys it as much as I do, and is as good at it as I am. NO, THEY ARE ALL BETTER!

Right?

Aaaaaaaaaaaand another "Of course not."

Of course not.

And yet, I am surprised when I realize this.

Every time I am surprised by this.

And delighted.

That whole impostor syndrome thing? It goes away when you objectively look at what you do. It goes away when you see what you can do. And not only in relation to how well someone else can do, but in a "You know what? I actually do this well. I enjoy doing this, and I do it well." sort of way. It goes away when you see your own accomplishments, challenge your assumptions about everything, and see the world with better clarity.

Best part of all of this?

Being able to say not only, "I don't know, and that's okay. Can you teach me?" but also, "I do know. Let me share with you."

Adjust jQuery.cycle values programmatically

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When using the jQuery.Cycle plugin, the settings are configured on setup. Sometimes, however, you want to adjust them on the fly: adjust the speed in a subsequently loaded javascript file, adjust the speed based on hover or click, etc.

To do so, use the data element to get the cycle.opts values:

  var cycleopts = jQuery("#some-cycle").data('cycle.opts');

And change the values in particular to adjust:

  if (typeof jQuery("#some-cycle").cycle == 'function') {
    jQuery("#some-cycle").data('cycle.opts').timeout = 9000;
  }

All the cycle options are at http://jquery.malsup.com/cycle/options.html

Nominally 3637 days left to go

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At dinner last night, we were handed the usual wine and beer menus. I ignored them at first, then picked up the wine menu to look it over. I've been a fan of Malbecs for a couple years now, with their replacing the Oreana Best-Wine-In-The-World™ status. Well, as long as they're Argentinian Malbecs, and not a California Malbec. The latter rather suck.

Sure enough, on the menu were a number of Argentinian Malbecs.

I looked at the list and wondered about ordering a glass, mulled it over, then put the wine list back down, knowing I wouldn't order a glass.

I stopped drinking alcohol 17 days ago. It'll be a while before I drink again. And I'm good with this.

Better defaults, please

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I know I'm in the 2% of people who view the web without javascript turned on. I'm know I'm in the n% who turn images off by default in email. I know this.

And even if I didn't, I would still feel uncomfortable with having my text color so close to my background color that it is unreadable without having javascript turned on to adjust the color of the fonts with a font-face:

It's okay to default colors to legible ones. Really.

I think I might need to add this to my Front-End Fast book: test with javascript turned off or otherwise hobbled ("the CDN isn't working and jQuery doesn't load from the Googs, is your website still legible?" sort of thing).

And for anyone looking, yeah, I know that using the center tag isn't cool either. Working on it.

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