On the way home from Velocity today, I was cruising in the number one lane on 101 south, travelling a safe distance behind a truck. There were very few cars around us until we neared Palo Alto, which is where the traffic always seems to both thicken and slow down.

This slowing and thickening part is in no small part the result of the moron drivers entering the freeway on the northern Palo Alto onramps, including the numbnut in the champange metallic minivan with the license plate that starts with 4GOZ.

So, yeah, I was cruising on the freeway, right? Driving safely, right?

This van nearly sideswipes the car in front of the car in front of me as it swerved in the number two lane towards the number one lane (if you're not in California or California-trained in driving, the number one lane is always the lane farthest to the left, so every road has a number one lane - number two is the next one to the right, all the way to the number of lanes the road has).

I watched this, and, well, sped up in an attempt to prevent the moron minivan driver from pulling in behind the truck in front of me.

I failed.

After nearly sideswiping the truck in front of me, it slid into the not-really-enough-room space in front of my car. In less than 5 seconds, I realized why the van was swerving.

The driver was bent over towards the passenger seat, trying to get something next to him.

He wasn't on the phone. He wasn't texting, as I could see one hand on his steerring wheel. No, he was digging through something next to him, LOOKING AT THE SEATS, swerving in the lane.

When I saw what he was doing, I laid on my horn.

I wasn't particularly nice about my horn honking. I'm sure I surprised the driver of the cars to my right (the ones preventing me from pulling around the moron in the minivan, I might add). I kept my hand firmly planted on the horn until the driver sat up, put both hands on the steering wheel and was looking forward.

Which lasted about 5 seconds.

At which point, he TURNED TO THE RIGHT, swerved to the right, and started digging AGAIN.

I leaned on the horn again.

He stopped both swerving and digging, so I stopped honking.

Unfortunately, the moron driver was also a slow learning driver. He tried this again, so I leaned on the horn again.

I really really really really wanted to be nowhere near this car. He unsafely swerved into the fast lane, dropped the lane speed by over 10 miles an hour, wasn't watching the road in front of him, and was digging in something next to him. First chance I had, I moved over to the number two lane, as the guy continued to swerve and dig.

Normally, when I'm confronted with driving this bad, I move to be in front of the car - my logic being I'd rather be in front of the idiot and watch the carnage in my mirror than behind the idiot and in the middle of the carnage he creates. Traffic wasn't helping me, though, as, hey, I was driving through Palo Alto, whose traffic is as bad as the 405's Sepulveda Pass.

So, I did the next best thing when confronted with a driver that is going to take out someone in the next five miles.

I called 911.

As I was calling, I moved over to the right, watching the van pull ahead of me, swerving, swerving, swerving. The California Highway Patrol picked up, asked me to press any button to confirm this was an emergency, then not so pleasantly let me know that "All operators are currently busy."

Now that doesn't make me feel very good.

I think it's time to learn CPR, emergency medical training and, well, maybe my medical degree, too.

I've decided to give the daily photo thing a try again. I stopped being successful with it last year early in the year. Here's hoping I last longer this time.

Velocity workout this morning was 4 rounds of:

25 overhead lunges
25 right arm kettleball lifts
25 left arm kettleball lifts
25 box jumps
6 50m runs

After visiting Mark and Megan and Mirabelle and Meter, Kris and I journeyed up to Mike and Kate's house. Kate's company Christmas party was last night, and the two of them were looking for someone to sit the girls. My thoughts about sitting Liza and Maeryn usually run along the lines of "What? Play with the girls? Yes? When? Can I come over now?"

So, Kris dropped me off and left, as Liza, Maeryn and I played with a snap-together circuit set that I had bought Liza for Christmas either last year or the year before. To say that I purchase Christmas gifts a few years too old for young people is an understatement, because I nearly ALWAYS do it. Sure, a digital microscope is perfect for a four year old! What four year old wouldn't love to look at slides of insects on his computer?

Yeah. So, Liza didn't really understand electrical circuits. At least Mike was trying to teach her.

After a fabulous dinner of hot dogs and mac and cheese (mmmmmmmm, hot dogs for vegetarians, the best! I bribed Maeryn to eat my hot dog), we were allowed to watch an episode of Land Before Time (whoo!). Also known as "time for Kitt to work on her computer." I tell you, that's always fun time!

When bedtime rolled around, Maeryn was supposed to go to Mike and Kate's bed, with Liza heading to her own bed. The girls, however, had a better idea, and decided that jumping up and down on the air mattress made up for me was the best place for going to bed, not the two separate rooms. We played around for a while, with the two of them having problems going to bed until I rubbed their backs for a good twenty minutes.

They slept for a couple hours before I decided to go to bed. I really should have gone to bed when the two of them did. By the time I went to the bed, Liza was near the middle of the bed, with Maeryn bent over hogging the other half of the bed. I had no space on the bed. I nudged Maeryn a little bit, hoping not to wake her, and managed to wake her only a little in claiming my 10" of sleeping space.

Mike and Kate arrived home as I was drifting off. As near as I can tell, they wandered into the kids' bedroom, didn't find them, wandered into their own bedroom, and didn't find them there either. They're smart, though, and figured out we were having a slumber party in the pink room.

Par-TAY!

Kris and I went over to Mark and Megan's for their house warming party. I tragically didn't remember the invite correctly, and missed that it started at 11:00 AM, thinking it started at 1:00 PM and showing up at 2:00 PM would be fine. It was supposed to end at 3:00 PM, so I was dumb.

We arrived some time soon after 2:00 PM, and chatted for a moment with Brynne and Chookie and Shirley and Martha and Doyle people before Megan walked in with Meter on her hip. Oh, little kid, please tell me you've forgiven me, please, oh, please, I thought, as I asked Megan if I could hold Meter. Megan said sure, Meter resisted. I eventually won her over, and she let me hold her and play with her.

With her pigtails, oh my goodness, does Meter look like Mirabelle.

Eventually, Mark came over from socializing with other guests, and sat down with us to talk. When I handed him Meter, Mark commented that she's been having a rough week. He brushed aside her bangs and showed us a lovely flower of a bruise. Aside from Meter's gum dive, she rode her tricycle off the deck and managed to land on her head.

Either that kid is going to be the toughest kid on the block or Evel Knievel's logical successor.