friends

Do you know me?

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Yesterday, after our second game ended early, I was looking over our stats roster and asked about a few of the names on the list. My question was to no one in particular, but it started a conversation with Lori about various people we both knew. At one point, she made a rough but incredibly honest and forthright comment about someone, something about how she liked the person but would never want that person as a teammate. I was taken aback by the sheer honesty of her assessment of the person, and asked, "What do you say about me when I'm not around? I won't be upset with anything you say. I'm curious."

She looked at me from where she was sitting. "I don't think I've ever described you," she commented, but offered to think about it. She had, at some point, described me as "organized," and the Queen of some Realm, but she couldn't remember the Realm. If she remembered, I asked, I'd love to hear it.

I find it very difficult to tell someone something bad (or rather, something I perceive as bad, whether he does or not), so my request to Lori was probably unfair. Maybe I'm projecting there: I don't see her, or any of my friends actually, as someone who enjoys giving someone bad news (or info).

There is, however, only so much information self-reflection can give. Outside input is often quite good, even if difficult to hear.

Later in the afternoon, during the warm up for another game, Lori mentioned she thought of two adjectives that described me well: honest and non-apologetic. My first reaction was, "Hey! Awesome! I like that!" The first is a given as a fabulous trait. The second, well...

I assumed the definition Lori was using was

of the nature of a formal defense or justification of something such as a theory or religious doctrine

indicating that I'm not in the habit of needing to justify myself to others. I had only recently learned of that definition, in the last year or so, from Paul's blog name, so that definition was much stronger in my mind.

From that definition, I inferred, in this split second emotional analysis of her words, confidence (from not needing to justify myself), intelligence (from knowing things that didn't need justification) and all sorts of other positive connotations.

Only after a few minutes did I realize she could have meant the more common definition of apologetic:

regretfully acknowledging or excusing an offense or failure

and the negative connotation that maybe, just maybe, I don't actually admit to my failings, even when I'm wrong.

I probably should have asked her which definition she meant. Pondering the two has been more entertaining than knowing, though.

Then I remembered that Lori had created a Johari window as "an interesting psychological experiment."

In a nearly non-committal sort of way, I could find out from my friends just how far off I am in my own perception of myself.

So, help me out here. If you know me, or think you know me because you've been here a lot and, well, this site pretty much does sum up my personality (just ask Kris, he says he hears my voice when reading, which is saying something, because it's a weird voice), let me know what you think of me. I promise not to be upset.

The good stuff is here: http://kevan.org/johari?name=noasi

The bad stuff is here: http://kevan.org/nohari?name=noasi

Take them both. I can take the criticism (or, at least, I'm learning to take it).

My friends are crazy

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I'm convinced of it.

But they're also pretty wonderful, too.

This weekend, I came home from Crate and Barrel with my new "dresser" (think, embracing my inability to use drawers), and found this on my doorstep:


Pumpkin on my doorstep

Now, if I can just get the perpetrator to confess, I'll reward her/him with a trip for this:


Offer in the mail

The End of an Era

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Today, we received the announcement of the end of an era. Ben and Lisa told us they are moving to Seattle Washington. Ben landed his dream job and it happens to be 850 miles away from where they currently live. Sigh.

I'm unable to express how happy I am that Ben found his dream job. As I'm currently on my way to creating my dream job, I would never begrudge a good friend the same enjoyment of life a great job can create.

Ben will be running a camp. Well, not really. He'll be leading a great group of people that make up

"IslandWood is a unique 255-acre outdoor learning center that provides kids, adults and families with hands-on learning experiences that combine science, technology and the arts."
Damn, I wish I had a chance to go to such a place when I was young. And I almost wish I had kids to send there. (Only almost, because anything more would require actually having such kids all the rest of the time.)

Though I'm really happy for Ben and Lisa, I'll admit to crying when I found out. I'll miss them both so much.