Six years of WTF?


Today marks the sixth anniversary of my blog. I started out at as a drupal install where I was just throwing up (sometimes literally) notes about what was going on with my life, then moved to where it is now. It'll be moving again in the next few weeks, but, well, that's a story for next month, next year, next decade (unless you're Keith, at which point the years don't mark the end of the year, but rather the beginning of the next year, and the decade doesn't end for another 389 days, and the site will move only in the next month and year).

In that time, I've had, to yes, everyone's surprise, only two jobs. Two jobs, two dogs, two houses, two passports, two wedding parties (though only one wedding), two cars, two sets of friends move away, and too many other exciting things to cram into lists of two.

This year, however, I kinda stalled. Not because there weren't exciting things happening in my life (well, okay, no there weren't any exciting things happening in my life, but really that's an aside), but for another every distinctive reason. I feel I've finally come to terms with that reason, and figure it's time to start spewing again.

But wait. Wait wait wait wait. Yes, I DO want to tell you about that reason.

Wanna hear?

Okay, but it's going to take some backstory.

When I was dating Guy Fenner, I commented to him at one point that all of his friends were amazing people. They all shared the same essence that he had, that of a good person. Or, as I write it, a Good Person™. I don't know exactly how to describe the characteristic otherwise, but it's something like the fundamental desire to be a good person, to do the right thing, to leave the world in a better state than when they came in, to see the good in situations, to want to improve as a person, friend, lover, spouse.

Guy commented back that he knew what I meant, and that he chose his friends with that in mind. He chose not to dwell on the negatives in life, but to concentrate on the positives. He chose to spend time with people that made his life better, made him a better person, instead of those who dragged him down. Which is not to say none of his friends had bad times or rough patches, they probably did. But the fundamental personality trait, to want all of this to be better, that helped them through the rough times.

Kris very much has that personality characteristic. It's part of his charm.

A long while I ago, I chose to follow Guy's way of choosing friends, and have some amazing friends in that list. Yeah, I thought about listing them all here, but my fingers started bleeding from all the typing before I was even close to being done, so, yeah, you're on this list. I have amazing friends. That I have so many incredible friends makes me want to cry with joy at how lucky I am. Okay, there you go. I'm crying now.


Unfortunately, to the flip side of this was a poor decision on my part to become friends with someone who didn't fit in the Good Person™ category. If you go back through the various posts on here, you can probably figure out who it is (and if you do that, I assure you, you need a life. A real life. Go outside and play). Said person was the second true instance I've encountered and recognized (belatedly, in this case) as an emotional vampire.

I think I am more angry with myself for letting this person into my life. I was so desperate for a female best friend to replace the various ones who have moved away either physically or emotionally in the last few years, Lisa, Kate, and Megan, that I didn't really see the forest for the trees with the problems of her personality. And yes, the draining, tiring, depleting emotional vampire was a woman. Let's call her Eva.

When I spent time with her, the world became bleak.

When I spent time with her, she thought it was okay to lecture me on what I was doing wrong, even though I was doing things the way she wanted them done.

When I spent time with her, no changes seemed possible. Every problem was the end, no solutions were viable. "I can't do that." "That won't work."

When I spent time with her, the most common words out of her mouth were "I hate my life."

When I spent time with her, all she would do is complain.

It was so draining. It started getting to the point where I became the woman no one wanted to spend time with because all I would do is complain about HER life. It sucked. I hated her life, too. I'd cry to Kris on how this was not what I wanted, but I didn't want to give up on her, she was my friend.

At which point, Kris finally asked me, "Why? Why are you still friend with someone who has done this to you?"

Why indeed?

Around June, I broke off contact with Eva.

I blocked her on Facebook.

I blocked her on my IM clients.

I added a filter to send any emails from her to /dev/null.

I removed her information from my cell phone.

And, I stopped writing on my blog. She used to read my blog non-stop. And IM me when I hadn't updated on a day. I didn't want to share my life with Eva anymore. Unfortunately, I felt that posting here would give Eva fuel, for her to come back to me and say, "you said this, but it conflicts with this you said," which was a habit of hers: to point out every discrepancy that someone said. Becaus, you know, nitpicking is a sport in her world.

Sadly, by not updating to avoid Eva, I feel I lost touch with everyone else who read my blog. My grandparents don't know what's going on in my life, because I'm not writing. Heather's moved to the City (did you even know she was back with us from August through September? probably not BECAUSE I DIDN'T WRITE ABOUT IT), so she doesn't know what's up with Krikitt Downs any longer. I've probably completely fallen out of Mike and Kate's and Ben and Lisa's reading lists, because I've posted so infrequently. Doyle never read this (who has time?), but Steffi did. I feel like I've lost touch with most of the people who are so dear to me, because I stopped writing. Because, well, as much as this site is for me, it's been an amazing way to keep in touch with everyone else. And I miss those everyone elses. A lot.

So, hello everyone. I'm back. Year 6 was crap. I plan on having year 7 be amazing. Just you wait to see what I have in store for you.

One year with Doyle


It's been one year since I started working at Doyle's company with him. One year, and five projects later, I'm still working with him. Not all of the projects have been smooth projects, and not all of the projects have been with Doyle. I've had two projects I've done completely independently of him, initially feeling guilty that I was assigned the COOL! NEW! project while Doyle was assigned the fix this site or upgrade that project or work on this long slow project that needs to get done but no one really wants to do projects.

Five years ago today


Five years ago today, we were standing here.

Five years ago today, we were surrounded by over a hundred amazing, accomplished, wonderful people, who, magically, were here to see us.

Five years ago today, to the heavy shaking yes of my mother's head, I told you I would always use an argument not to win, but to understand you better.

Five years ago today, to the heavy shaking yes of your mother's head, I told you I would always be waiting outside of that cave, waiting for when you decide to come out.

Five years ago today, I promised you I would try my hardest to live up to the good I see in you.

Five years ago today, I promised you a baseball team for your 50th birthday party.

Five years ago this hour, I smooshed a cupcake up your nose.

I totally won that one.




We're finally on our way to the Valley of the Moon campground where we married five years ago.


Five years. FIVE years.


We've been together 11. That is JUST. CRAZY.

One more day


Tomorrow, Kris and I will have been married five years.

The traditional gift for the fifth year is wood. While over at Keith and Katie's, we pondered this when I asked what I could purchase or make for for Kris for our anniversary.





A bat.

A baseball bat.

And Kris could buy me a tree! Whee!

Kris left his bats at home in Viriginia when he left for college. I've asked him several times to bring them back to California with him when he returns from visits back east, but either he forgets, or I forget, and the bats remain 3500 miles away.

So, while at her house, Katie and I looked for some bats, finding a bat signed by Willie Mays for $350. I thought about it, and realized that I'd rather have a bat we can use than a bat that sits in a box mounted to the wall.

When I dashed home and told Kris what I was getting him for our anniversary, and what he was getting for me, he laughed. He had already decided to get me a tree, but was waiting for when we could both go look for one together. I had to laugh. It's a good idea.

Tonight, however, we went to buy a bat. You can't buy a bat without purchasing balls. And you can't have a ball and a bat without any way to catch the balls you hit with the bat.

So, somehow I ended up with a new baseball glove. When I asked Kris how my gift to him became an odd gift to me, he replied, "The gift isn't so much the bat, as that you're going to play baseball with me. That's the TRUE gift."

Great. Only took him 11 years to break me down.



Happy anniversary, love.



Planned a party


What if you planned a party and nobody came?

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel at the moment. We had this brilliant idea to have our anniversary in the same place as our wedding, that's all and good, but one by one people are declining to come.

I'm saddened by this.

I had a clue in January when, just after we mentioned we were throwing the party, Kris' mom declared, "Well, we're not coming." No thinking about it. No debating the merits. No easy decline. Nope, just a slightly offended "No."

I have to say I was a bit disheartened. Only managed to be worse as the event neared. My aunts began to decline. My dad wanted to come and was willing to make this unbelievably complicated, rushed and stressed trip to be at the event, but only for a half day. I convinced him to go to Seattle with me in July instead, since the trip would be WAY less stressful and I'd have more time with him, and possibly my brothers.


When Mom declined, causing every else on her side of the family to bail also, I realized this wasn't going to be a repeat of the incredible wedding weekend we had five years ago, and we might as well just accept that.

Well, I might as well accept that.

So, here we are. The RSVP is up. I think we'll have a good time, if nothing else, with fewer people, it'll be more intimate and entertaining. A few friends from distance parts may still fly in,and it'll be great to see them. Others may just drop in, and it'll be great to see them, too.

The flavor of the dessert may be different, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still taste good.

Yes, we're late! Please save the date!

Kris and I would like to invite you to our anniversary celebration!

We're heading back to the Valley of the Moon Campground in Glen Ellen, California, for a weekend with friends and family. We'll be in beautiful Sonoma Valley, surrounded by rolling hills, tall trees and wine country. We invite you to join us, play games for the weekend, sleep in the campsite's cabins, hike the nearby trails, swim in the pool, and celebrate with us.

Once again, just like summer camp, minus the annoying counselors!

Date: Friday, May 15th - Sunday, May 17th, 2009

More information, including directions and travel suggestions, will be posted on our site soon:

Although we'll be sending out "official" invitations, if you know you'd like to come (or know that you can't), and want to RSVP now, you can! Just leave a comment here, or send us an email with your name and number of guests.

We hope you can join us!

Happy Anniversary!

Daily Photo

Menu from Alexanders, where we went for dinner.

Shape of Amazing


"I don't have to read your blog. I live it."

Right. Well, I hope you read this one. I might just point you to it.


Would you have guessed, ten years, two months ago, that the woman who showed up late to the tournament, to whom you barely said more than a "Hi, I'm Kris" when introductions were made, so busy were you concentrating on the next pull you barely looked her way, that didn't play too poorly, might have played just fine, that that woman would become your girlfriend, your lover, your wife?

Yeah, me neither.

I'm so glad we figured it out.

I'm so happy you "convinced" me to let you visit; that you were willing to move to the South Bay because I couldn't stand the hour commute after the commuting hell of Los Angeles; that you were my angel; that Melissa had answered, "but if you know of any single women, I'm looking to set him up"; that Sharon wasn't your girlfriend and invited me for that Jamba Juice run; that you didn't run the first time I just burst into tears for exactly no good reason you could fathom; that you didn't run the 100th time I did it.

I'm so glad you moved in with me; that you were willing to play house together; that you told me to "just quit your job already"; that you encouraged me to do whatever makes me happy; that you trusted me; that you showed up after I had learned the lessons in love that I needed to learn, and not before I had learned them, before I could appreciate just how incredible you are.

Thank you for breaking all the rules in relationships, simply because you didn't know them: for inviting me home for Christmas to meet the parents, after we had been dating for only a month; for buying me an engagement house, instead of the ring, and then buying me the ring anyway; for holding my hand every time we go for a walk; for kissing me goodbye every morning before you leave for work, and hello every time you return from work, and every night before we go to sleep.

Every time.

Thank you for teaching me "eh" when I want to scream "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Thank you for being you, the amazing person that you are; for hearing my call when I described to the universe who I was looking for, and being so much better than I could imagine my snuggle victim to be.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be with you. Don't think I don't know it.

Wonder Twin powers, activate!

Form of a four year anniversary, and a decade together.

Shape of .... Amazing.

I love you.

I licked something else


One of Alexander's traditions is to bring out cotton candy to the dinner table before dessert is ordered, or with the check. Ours was flavored banana bonaza.

Not that I did anything but lick it.