I can't believe just how much I hate my shower now.

I used to love being in the shower. That Seinfeld episode with Kramer in the shower 24 hours a day, installing the garbage disposal in the shower so that he could cook in the shower, never having to leave the shower? Yeah, that would have been me, if not for, oh, I don't know, work, clients, ultimate, those sorts of things.

Ever since the shower drain plumbing fix, when a new shower head and handle were installed, showering hasn't been the same.

For one, I can't control the water flow, as I could with the old water handle, which had a pull for water flow and turn for temperature. Despite the fact I bought one with the dual control, the workers installed one with only temperature control, no water flow control. Now the water comes out at FULL BLAST.

No, not water conserving gentle flow. We're talking turbo-turbine, rocket-powered, sand-your-face blast.

Which means I now use in 30 seconds what I used to use in 5 minutes.

Which also means I can't take 20 minute showers any longer.

The water flow wouldn't be SO bad, if I could actually save the water and pump it out into a grey water system or even just out into the front yard. No, the workers ALSO installed a drain switch that doesn't work. That's right, I have the flip to close the drain, except that there's no drain close to flip. I have a bathtub that I can't take a bath in. Well, until I go out and purchase a rubber drain stop. However, even that won't work, because the screw used to hold the drain cover in is about 3mm too tall, and sticks up. so even a rubber stop won't work.

Now, yes, I could go out and fix all of these issues in less than an afternoon. I could possibly even bribe Andy to help out, though I don't know exactly what I have that I could bribe him with. Maybe a cooked dinner? Maybe?

Of course, then I could go back to my 20 minute showers instead of my "10 second water flow, stop the water, soap up, turn on the water, rinse for 10 seconds, turn off the water, lather hair, turn on the water, rinse for 20 seconds, done" shower.

And have one fewer thing to complain about.

Where's fun in that?

Apparently if your company lasts longer than 3 years, you end up on the "we're going to bombard you with a ton of crap paperwork category and start getting all sorts of forms to fill out from the various branches of government" list. I think this is how the government has decided it's going to get the economy rolling again: flood the small business owners with so much crap that they have no choice to hire another person just to deal with all of it.

Well, that, or go out of business.

I guess this plan could backfire.

A few weeks ago, I received a notice from the U.S. Census Bureau, complete with a form that I HAD TO FILL OUT:

It's a strong armed, bully approach, actually. You MUST comply. You're BREAKING THE LAW if you don't.

I don't do well with bully approaches. I'm much more likely to become ornery if you try to bully me - a fact that explains much of my reactions to seemingly minor events that become HUGE in my world. That, and asking me to complete arbitrary tasks. I HATE to follow up on arbitrary tasks or rules that are in place because some fucking moron decided that it was needed. Gah.

Yeah, that census thing.

In a completely passive aggressive approach that is so common in the American society today, they attempt to be pleasant:

I find this quite annoying.

"For real? For reeeaaaal?"

"What?"

"For real?"

"What?"

"You're sitting on the toilet playing guitar?"

"I'm sitting."

"And?"

"What? You read on the toilet."

I'm wondering just how effective my neighbor thinks her watering plan is.

Hint: effectiveness is directly proportional to how much water actually gets to the roots of the plants.

Katie and Megan organized a wedding shower for Martha for today. Katie has been hosting the most pleasant of events like this, starting with Megan's baby shower earlier this year. There's something to be said for the calm, pleasant, enjoyable showers like this, compared to the awkward, uncomfortable, riotous bachelorette parties that include a stripper.

A stripper? Yeah, we talked about that. I mentioned how one I went to had a stripper and how awkward and uncomfortable it was for pretty much everyone when he came. The party was during the day, the stripper was icky (read: drunk and oiled up), and all of us were uncomfortable, including the guest of honor who was invited to touch - she declined).

Martha was relieved we didn't invite a stripper.

About as relieved as i was.

Megan brought some tasty, tasty desserts. Mmmmmmmmm.... I could get fat on those desserts....

Oh, wait.

At one point, before we had all settled outside at the gorgeous table Katie had set for us, Megan stepped away to get her camera. She took three steps, then turned around and walked back outside. "What do I need my camera for?" she asked. "Kitt's here."

I wonder if I should take fewer pictures.

Nah.

I wonder if I should subtitle that one More Fist Pumping!.

I did, however, take so many of the flowers at the table that Megan was forced to ask, "You are going to take pictures of the people, too, right?"

I did.

No, really.

I even managed one of the lone interloper:

But, yeah, the flowers were so pretty I couldn't really resist.

Well, and the babies. The babies were cute, too.